They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. So this time, I called my cousin Kayleigh. Kayleigh is not a doctor, but she knows more about health care than anyone I know. Ten years ago, she cured her lactose intolerance by mommy-blogging, and now she and her husband have a podcast about it.

I told Kayleigh that, despite what everyone was telling me, I still had a powerful maternal instinct that jumping on the bed was the right thing for my monkeys to do.

“I totally get it,” she said. “It’s like Derek and I always say on the podcast, ‘Whatever you think is true is probably right.’”