it hit me while masturbating in the shower, i’m never going to be completely sober. i need drugs to function as a member of society. and that’s alright with me.
i also know, more importantly, that there are millions of other people like me all over the planet. most of us just hide to survive.
Well, my close friends and I felt similar when we were young. Now we’re middle aged and realised we had a mix of undiagnosed neurodiversity, and are now are now on doctor-prescribed cannabis and/or stimulants.
I know that if my adhd meds were stopped, I’d have to go back to self-medicating with booze, weed and street drugs. But having access to reliable clean stimulants that help me do the stuff I want to do, have hobbies and keep a steady job and long-term relationships, has been life transforming. I’ve had a jar of weed in my drawer for over a year, because I’ve gone from smoking weed everyday to once every few months. And it’s not because I think weed is bad, or not fun, but just because my life is so much more rich and satisfying and busy (in a good way) that I don’t need to get baked to make it manageable.
Edit: didn’t mean for that sound preachy. There’s no problem with not being ‘sober’ of it works for you. But if there’s some underlying issue that the intoxicants help you deal with, I just wanted to share that it can be amazing if you can sort the issue out rather than mask it. But there’s always space for a delicious cocktail, some fragrant bud or taking some mushrooms at a rave in the deep forest.