oh god, it’s meSenior developer tip: squash the evidence.
git commit --amend --no-editThis helped me countless times…
Principle developer tip: rewrite history to make yourself seem smarter.
Soft reset the whole branch and commit a series of atomic and semantic patches (eg separating code, test, and refactor changes) that tell a clean narrative of the changeset to reviewers, future blamers.
It’s a picture of the people who submit zero value comment spelling fixes to the Linux kernel so they can claim “I’ve submitted X patches to the Linux kernel” for KPIs or resume building
Hey man, I once had an engineering exec (who didn’t last very long) who decided engineers would be stack ranked by SLOC. You can imagine how easy that metric was to cheese, and you can also imagine exactly how that policy turned out.
Give an engineer a stupid metric to meet, and they’ll find a stupid way to meet it for you, if only out of malicious compliance.
When metrics become targets they fail to be metrics any more
I’d have a field day with that. Max line length 70 or 75, excessively verbose function and variable names, triple the normal amount of comments, extra whitespace wherever possible, tab width 8, etc. The possibilities are endless for that metric.
Dude… Just write a python script that makes small changes to white space every few seconds and commits them.
Campbell’s law goes brrrrr.
“Hey Bob, you’ve worked on the Linux kernel before, can you handle this CPU scheduler problem we’re having? Shouldn’t take you too long. We need it done before lunch”
“Nah I was in the network driver section”
“oh nice we’re also having issues with random packets being dropped, can you look into that? It’s business critical”
Listen bub, I don’t have time for this Mickey mouse bullshit!
Sometimes I’m in awe at the effort people put into these memes. Well done 😄
P.S Now make one about people who squash 100 commits into one without cleaning up the message and have a single commit with 1k added / 2k removed in it for the sake of “clean” history.
