Four Color Theorem

“As a party, we are better to risk losing without Donald Trump than trying to win with him. Enough already with Mister Trump.”

“It’s like [choosing between] being shot or poisoned.” (About whether he would choose Trump or Cruz for the President of the United States.)

“If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed… and we will deserve it.”

“Embracing Donald Trump is embracing demographic death.”

“Finally, a president willing to take on this absurd policy of birthright citizenship. I’ve always supported comprehensive immigration reform – and at the same time – the elimination of birthright citizenship.”

“If you’re a young, African American or an immigrant, you can go anywhere in this state, you just need to be conservative, not liberal.”

“This is the party of Donald Trump.”

“I want you to use my words against me.”

—Lindsey Graham, 1955-2026

I could believe that little tetrahedron symbol on his polo is some cryptofascist bullshit symbol that he had embroidered on at a mall kiosk because he’s too chickenshit to actually own his bigotry and wear a Hakenkreuz…

…but I could also believe that there’s some athleisure company out there with that logo where when that photo went viral saw it suddenly appear everywhere and just went Fffffuuuuuucckk mmmmeeeeeee…"

People didn’t move to America for the freedom to practice any religion, they moved here for the freedom to practice what they believe was _the correct religion.

Well…

Article 3. [Freedom in religion; right and duty of religious worship]

That all persons have a natural and unalienable right, to worship Almighty God, according to the dictates of their own consciences and understandings, as in their opinion shall be regulated by the word of God; and that no person ought to, or of right can be compelled to attend any religious worship, or erect or support any place of worship, or maintain any minister, contrary to the dictates of conscience, nor can any person be justly deprived or abridged of any civil right as a citizen, on account of religious sentiments, or peculia[r] mode of religious worship; and that no authority can, or ought to be vested in, or assumed by, any power whatever, that shall in any case interfere with, or in any manner control the rights of conscience, in the free exercise of religious worship. Nevertheless, every sect or denomination of christians ought to observe the sabbath or Lord’s day, and keep up some sort of religious worship, which to them shall seem most agreeable to the revealed will of God.

State of Vermont Constitution, 1793.

I really wish we could have got that “attend, erect, or support” clause in the US Constitution!

DARE programs referring to “drugs, alcohol, and tobacco,” and middle school me thinking “I’m pretty sure those are all drugs…”

Image search duck penis. You will not regret image searching duck penis today.

I want to come in.

“Not voting sends a message.”

Yeah, it fuckin’ does.

I hate that this is so plausible a scenario. I’d love to be proven wrong, I’d love to see a wave of stronger-left candidates elected in primaries and then to office, and I’d love if the party in general could see what an existential threat the current situation poses, whether one is talking about the level you’re talking about or merely forever losing any credibility with their own base assuming some vaguely normal political situation continues from where we are now.

We’re over the precipice of the collapse of the American experiment in democracy. It’s not impossible to drag us back, but it’ll take something heroic to get it done. The alternative is a long plunge down to some very sharp rocks.

I’ve seen parents pushing toddlers around strapped into a stroller with a tablet mounted on an arm right at the kid’s eye level. Even if the kid wanted to stop looking at the tablet, they’d have a hard time. They’re basically Ludovico Technique-ing their own kids.

Spring:

Keg Petesbreath

New York City has a population greater than all but twelve states. It’s like if the governor of Virginia were a wildly popular national figure and started endorsing primary candidates.

Drained-pool politics.

TLDR: Whites in some parts of America drained public pools rather than integrate them. They should rather no one have a public pool than have to share it with black people.

What a disgusting, slobbery, drooling, wheezing, farting, affront to the basic precepts of nature.

The dog seems nice, though.

You’re not entirely wrong. Any conversation with them would inevitably drift off into the weirdest tangents, and they would happily continue their side of the conversation, even if the person to whom they were speaking had to walk away or start doing another task. They weren’t bad at the job, but they weren’t great either, and they were consistently odd, and not in a fun quirky way.

Counterpoint: my place of business hired a person who was a regular customer that I found distressingly attractive, like “Oh no, that hot customer is back, okay don’t be weird, give them their space.”

Once I worked with them for a few months I found out they were a total space cadet. I didn’t suddenly find them un-attractive, but I definitely revised my estimation such that their presence was no longer a problem.

Hey, it’s not just an Italian symbol!

University of Maryland, Baltimore County