But my friends call me Spray.

Many of my friends are in critical condition after an incident involving my father and some bees. The pest control guy was not helpful. I spent many hours on the phone with him explaining the situation already, so please do not suggest I call him for advice.

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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • I am a millennial and grew up in the time of the family computer being the one computer in the house. My father had an IBM Thinkpad with windows 98 on it, which he replaced some time around 2001/2 (it was a beast of a laptop for its time, but was from before track pads were a thing, so it had the red nub as the built-in mouse). When he replaced it, he let me have the old Thinkpad.

    When he was showing me all the cool game demos he collected from mail-in floppys, one of them was for Duke Nukem 3D. It had the entire LA Meltdown part of the game on it. I remember him going into the adult theater, turning to me, and saying, “check this out”. He pressed the space bar, Duke whipped out a few dollars, and said, “shake it baby”. I didn’t understand why a few dollars and a one-liner from an overgrown Bart Simpson would cause a woman to bounce her boobs around, but I think I showed every friend I had those pixelated nipple tassels.

    It may have been the first sexualized breasts I had seen in my entire life.












  • There’s one around the White Mountains in NH that I have driven on that was 75 mph, but that is the absolute fastest I have ever seen. The same highway (I think) stayed 75 mph through the Green Mountains in VT too. Both areas are rural without a ton of drivers outside of peak tourism season, and about a 0% chance of hitting a pedestrian.

    Definitely a chance of hitting a moose and totally fucking up it’s legs, ending your own life in the process. Motherfuckers have been known to walk away from many car accidents without much more than a limp. They’re tall enough where they roll over most cars and even many pickup trucks when full grown.

    EDIT: Nevermind. It was I-93, which has a speed of 70 mph in the section that I drove on and I couldn’t find a 70 mph speed limit sign on that highway in VT, because it ends quickly after entering VT. Couldn’t be bothered to find where the VT highway was though.

    70 MPH on I-93 in NH