I am and same colors here.

I’m going to start my own pizza brand and label it “now with no asbestos!”.

I’m an independent consultant who works from home 99% of the time. My boss keeps sexually harassing me.

If you’re not shitting then you need to see a doctor, friend.

Otherwise, if it’s not your jam there’s nothing wrong with sitting it out. In fact I don’t recommend drinking as heavily as I have or take as many fun drugs as I used to (I can still do them but I choose to heavily limit myself) because there are long term consequences.

For me it’s the knees. I can still shit and bang and drink and do all the same fun drugs I did at 25. But I miss my cartilage.

I wear boots and hold a bottle of whisky. I don’t know why they wouldn’t include that on the list.

How dare anyone enjoy anything that I wouldn’t or couldn’t do myself!

There’s 7 of them. Maybe she should have swallowed a few.

Like Violent Femmes. It’s punk played on acoustic instruments.

Some of us live in BJ deserts where you can’t get good, quality BJs from home.

That’s not really extra. It’s like food. Absolute necessity.

Where in America? I don’t doubt it, I’m just not familiar with it. Is it possibly something that has fallen out as a slang term or incredibly regional?

You ain’t wrong, but I said the same thing about him. Almost exactly. The biggest difference is I wouldn’t have to hold my nose to vote for Bernie, I genuinely like the dude and my policy quibbles come down to quibbles.

Rant incoming.

Hell, the DNC may run Bernie now that he’s old enough. Or they’ll pick a cop to lead the ticket where their side doesn’t like or trust the police. Anything as long as they don’t win. Their last big winners were Obama and Clinton, both of which were in their 40s. Can’t make that fucking mistake again I guess. Even on the R side it’s been middle aged people rather than geriatric motherfuckers since Reagan until Trump. When the fuck did someone decide that you can’t be president unless you were a billion years old? I want someone who represents the future and wants to take us there, not someone whose slogan is “I’ve seen the future, and it’s a better past…which I also saw because I lived through all of human history”.

I love Bernie and I would vote for him if he were on the ballot, but he has no business being president at this age. I think he recognizes that and that’s why he’s actively helping the new generation.

Not op, but the only place I go anymore is bars. I can’t find a nice place to change my baby at 1am after killing an entire bottle of Old Grandad.

I grew up poor as hell. I broke the cycle in my family just in time to have to deal with this shit. My garden is looking like it’s going to do well this year and if meat starts getting scarce I can go hunting from time to time or get some yard birds from the friends I get my eggs from, but god damn (or maybe I’ll go vegetarian, wouldn’t be the first time), I just wanted a little more time not having to live hand to mouth.

But I’ll make it as long as flour doesn’t get to be the price of beef. And I’ll complain the whole fucking time.

You’re not going to the Pope’s funeral.

Honestly, most people will never attend a very formal funeral. Wear your blue suit. If you come to mine I hereby grant permission to wear jeans and a band or nerd T-shirt. It’s very indicative of what I wore most of my life up to this point even if I dress better now when I leave the house.

I don’t think most people care as long as you are trying.

I hereby crown you King Wing, the manliest of all people!

(This was supposed to be light-hearted, but I realized after reading it that it sounds like I’m mocking you…I promise I’m not).

They’ve been tipping those for a very long time. I remember the first one I received was disguised as a $100 bill well before YouTube was a thing. Even almost 30 years ago we fought over who would work on Sundays because they would abuse 16 year old buffet workers back in '98.

I’m pretty ok at knapping flint and I’m not a terrible hunter. I’m also usually in poor health.

So I’d probably die as a baby.