I’m worried that stupid is our best case scenario. For all we know, the rest are stupid plus a cattle prod to the junk so might as well stick with the one that isn’t currently zapping my balls.

That one’s for chess moves.

In September 2024, Hvaldimir was found dead, apparently from a stick lodged in its body.

It’s too late, they already got him. Must’ve hit a tree on the way down.

Skip the preamble and lead with the last line, you’ve already won me over.

Jet fuel can’t melt steel beans.

Probably just has to drool into the collection jar considering how much time these guys spend sucking themselves off.

It’d take a lot of spit to get them all discretely (separately/individually) and be awfully hard to do it discreetly (sneakily). A worthy goal though.

Also, pee is stored in the balls. It’s a scientific fact.

/c/ToiletThoughts since they’re getting flushed away.

I should vwhat? Never heard of it.

We haven’t ruled out the possibility of Dear Leader porn. Also have the state-approved stuff like Debbie Does DPRK, Backdoor Kim Sluts, Taepo-dong and Juche Bottom Babes.

Makes me wonder whether they’re expecting to lose a significant number of young men for some reason over the next few years as well. Gotta start planning for replacements early.

Crimea river, Ivan. Solve your leadership problem and maybe then I’ll give a fraction of a fuck about your feelings.

30 years, 4 kids and one soon-to-be grandchild later: “Results still inconclusive, further observation required.”

If the Mayans were right, guess that would mean we’re probably in Xibalbá.

Darn, now I know that isn’t a real message from the outside, nobody misses me.

If you enjoyed the book, check out the album Haunted by Poe. Anyone with a functioning radio in the 90s may have heard Angry Johnny a time or ten but she’s got some other good tracks too. Poe is the stage name of Anne Danielewski and, if the last name is familiar, that’s because she’s the House of Leaves author’s sister.

I’m ready to wake up from this fever dream and return to 2014 or whenever it really is. How are all you figments doing?

You just put a jack under one end of the building, lift it up and let them roll out the other side. Easy peasy.

Assume a spherical child in a frictionless vacuum.