Imma put my foot up yer turd pocket

sniff… the good ol’ Lemmy switcheroo

You need more bicephalous

Phil Collins at prime sexual potency

omg what is even the point of scientific progress and the advancement of human knowledge unless one specific person gets all the glory. What is science even for if not the validation of some human’s individual ego.

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Nobody who does that is going to read, let alone understand, this valid criticism of their methodology

The star of the show is irrelevant to the performance

Green for go red for no.

Why fund hospitals at home when you can blow them up abroad?!

Unlike their benevolent opponents

Followed by a “menacing commentary on the weather”

I wonder if the Mossad deliberately bought old decade+ out-of-production stock to insulate the manufacturer from blowback? Like if they chose a walkie-talkie currently sold by Motorola then it would basically kill that production line and hurt the company by association. People would avoid all Motorola devices in case there were Mossad explosives inside.

Also maybe they had these devices built and ready to go years ago and had this James Bond shit sitting on the shelf waiting to be put into circulation? This is a one-time attack vector. They won’t be able to do this again so they wanted to make it count.

“I was victimized by the patriarchy, so I got a haircut”

Everything has to be a buzzfeed headline… Nobody “just does stuff” anymore. All of life’s banal moments need to be presented as either a reaction or a challenge to really sell them. How else are you going to get online randos invested in your new haircut?

Online pearl clutching virtue-thieving motherfuckers irl dgaf.

Damn you Bill Gates!!

[shakes fist at sky?]

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That’s why all human creative works done online need to be bean related. To fuck up the data stream and make it unintelligible for AIs and marketing algorithms.

Big Clam has been suppressing synthetic clam juice research for years

Sometimes I drive to a second McDonald’s late at night because I don’t want to experience the shame of going through the same drive-thru twice.