Picked it up the other night and streamed it. Basically, I recommend it if you’re a Rocky Horror fan. If you’re not, you’re getting a somewhat mediocre and extremely short $10 platformer.

The good… It was super funny. On top of the obvious show story, there’s a whole mess of references to 8bit games that hit just right. I had to stop and take a break a couple times because I was laughing so hard. The music is great, but instrument choices are a little too “farty” sounding in my opinion. Still enjoyed it, sang along and said callbacks during cutscenes.

The bad stuff…

Some of the deaths are kinda cheap. There’s platforms that will collapse that have no indication of such. The only way to find out is when they fall. Likewise, most of the hazards in the game are spiky balls and weights that swing or fall to kill you. There’s moments where stuff falls from off screen. Only way to find them is when they’re coming down to smash you.

There are only 3 regular enemies throughout the game, a screaming skull, a brain with googly eyes, and a zombie/skeleton maid thing. In my opinion, they could have thrown in Transylvanians, dogs, could have even justified mutants or something and called them failed experiments.

There’s only like 3 levels, visited by each character. Each run through the level gets harder with slight pathing variations. Also, Brad is the only character who takes more than one hit. Janet and Dr. Scott are instant death. Doesn’t impact things a ton because in their levels, as getting hit would probably be instant death anyway.

I feel like they really missed the opportunity to include a church level. Instead the game starts off in the car on your way to the castle. Could have had skeletons and zombies in the graveyard, ended the level with either Pastor Tim Curry fighting you because he was pissed about you writing in the church doors. Could have even called him an asshole. Also, perfect opportunity to do an American Gothic Riffraff/Torgo cross reference.

Lastly, boss fights are super random, but ultimately the same. They have a jump and an attack. They’ll randomly do either one. No patterning, so getting hits can be erratic. I only got hung up on the last one.

Ultimately, $10 was cheaper than going to buy a ticket. The game only takes around an hour to complete. I ran through it twice and still found it enjoyable. Whether that seems worth it is up to you. Normally, I’d have been a little annoyed at the play time and there’s obvious flaws, but I still enjoyed it a lot because of the theme. It’s an established story. They respected the content and didn’t go nuts and try to deviate from it. Having grown up with LJN’s travesties, I enjoyed this. Get it if you like the show.

“I have never met a person who can…”

Who the hell are Becquerel or the Curies!?

That’s all a sign of just how sick our society is. We can treat mental health, we can offer higher quality education, by doing so, we give a person the opportunity to elevate their socioeconomic status. These are largely key factors in criminal behavior. But instead we just lock up the criminal, because it’s cheaper. We can’t fix our society until the government stops prioritizing profit over health and education.

As a stupid American, I ate the egg whole… What now?

I think he said moose and squirrel!

I better be able to get a pu pu platter somewhere along the way…

Nope, no bones…

Uh oh… Guys, I caught one…

Here’s the rest of the set then, enjoy!

And a bonus drooling cat that looks like it fell asleep drinking coffee

Man… It took me 13 requests. Some were close, I got a realistic looking orange cat drooling. A lot of Garfield eating pizza. Finally bing gave me this…

I wouldn’t say “very ugly.” I think it looks fine, especially for a game that’s been in development for 11 years.

It has a lot of jank, but considering what the game does, I think it does it exceptionally well. Especially considering you can pretty much count the number of open world, randomly generated zombie apocalypse games on one hand.

What exactly is it that you do do?

The age of consent in Japan was only 13 up until 2023. In China, it’s still 14. South Korea’s was 13 up until 2020. That pretty much sums it up right there.

“What’s up, bloodbags? Thanks for tuning in so late! Well, it’s late where I am, if you know what I mean!”

Funny numbers

*Looks at Jersey plate*

*Looks at Newark exit sign*

Yeah… That’s about right.

Anything for Konami to not have to actually make a new game.

I’m always down for anything Castlevania, but each time they do one of these collabs, it gets my hopes up.

Bring it to Steam and I’ll care. Alan Wake is one of my favorites series, but I refuse to give Epic money because of their exclusive bullshit.

My thought has always been, “who the hell grabs a book like that?”