how do i get to the wet ass peach ranch

Waaait, did you just finish DTF St. Louis, too?

deleted by creator

Y’all, it’s about time to look at literally every single conservative conspiracy theory, flip the script and/or its characters, and consider it a massive red flag that this era’s Republican politicians are doing some scaled version of the thing being peddled as conspiracy.

When acknowledged collectively, the rampant conspiracy shit that half our dumbass relatives have fallen for might as well be evidence of the greatest psyop (and/or Super Ultra Conspiracy Theory) there ever was.

Take a heinous bit of reality (the wealthy are raping children on Epstein island) and blow it up into an outlandish conspiracy theory (the Hollywood elite are drinking children’s blood).

Either way, at the end of the day, somebody in power stole someone else’s youth.

I guess reality is all in the semantics.

Unrelated but is this man not the lovechild of Leonardo DiCaprio and Mario Lopez?

deleted by creator

deleted by creator

I had a dream like this once.

One was chasing me down the highway, skittering behind me like a bald snowmobile.

Good times.

Submechanophobia vibes, for sure.

I’m not tangled… it grabbed my leg ^{ahhhhfuckahhhhh}

Emotionally estranged offspring of farming folk here: yeah I would not be shocked if some decide to quit while they’re ahead and don’t even bother putting seed in because there are enough cracks in the story to question whether they’ll get their usual bailout in time or with enough cash to make up for shit yields.

Maybe some small-timers call it quits. Maybe they rent the land to someone else to farm it, maybe for real cheap. Maybe it’s a real great time for some of them there South African immigrants (white farmers) to “pick up the slack” and farm it. And heck, maybe they won’t even need the help of SA “visitors” who have been year for 15+ years already, traversing the countryside custom harvesting. Or maybe they will, and it’ll be one more way for a Big, Beautiful Partnership™ to emerge from this totally unmanufactured crisis!

But Trump wouldn’t have done (and most definitely isn’t doing) any favors for his frenemy Musk and his poor disparaged countrymen, right?

^{/endconspiracytheory}

This reads like new headcanon for why the RePedos Population Police imprisoned and killed kids in Among the Hidden (from the YA series Shadow Children.)

The future is one bigly dystopian novel, innit?

Inb4: butyric acid

A somehow necessary ingredient in Hershey’s which lingers unpleasantly on the palate, otherwise known as a stomach acid which imbues your vomit with the unmistakeable flavor of vomit

^Whyyyyyyyyy

Austrians right about now

Heck, Australians too

And maybe the aliens ^idk

I get mad Succession vibes reading all this.

L to the O, G…

Alternatively, a huge load of horseshit.

My guess is they don’t want data scientist types to find trends pointing to the possible “moderation” of viral posts of a certain political potency, not to make them more popular, but to suppress or wholly censor something impactful from being spread further. Censorship. I mean censorship.

It just wouldn’t surprise me if posts that started being shared at an explosive rate for insert highly-affecting thing here were quietly “turned off” for many an audience’s algorithm at some point by meddlesome human hands. The public having this data could reveal that or other types of manipulation when compared to other platforms, in aggregate, etc.

But idk, not a data doctor

life is a dancefloor

Oh thank god someone has had a worse realization than my remembering opening my mom’s “make-up” sponges she kept in her headboard drawer along what I newly realize was probably not lotion AAHHH. (Also, where tf did fancy ass headboards, with built-in drawers and jewelry tray and a big ass mirror, yeah no when did those big honkers disappear?) Out the drawer I grabbed them, opening up the crinkly plump sealed packages aaand playing with them like they were my spongy powderpuffs. Dabbing my face. Probably saying shit like, “mom look!! why do you have so many–”

Oh god why. Why.

I was maaaybe 4 or 5 though, weird thing to explain at that age I suppose. Still though. AHHH nonono.

And yet I’ll bet one of these fuckers is still pinched.

deleted by creator