Where do I sign?

This is definitely proposed by someone who runs a farm and wants free labor.

Stop sending your kid’s smiley face emoji

A Utahn?

Republicans and MAGA Republicans are the same group.

Sounds like something a cyborg doppelganger would try to do

I would attend town halls if I knew there would be breakdancing

Time for the GOP to infringe on states rights again

My dog knows it’s time to go outside when I clack the tongs.

Yes, Waze sends me, and half the other cars on the road, to a new route which is also backed up.

Your ear knows how it will feel too, and your pinky toe, and your nose…

Fine with me. Leave us the hell alone.

How did you get your superpowers?

I bought shrimp at Walmart.

The Dark Lord shall return as the prophecy foretold!

As long as the shower had a milk faucet

Well, Texas cops aren’t gonna do it…

My battery sucks after this update. Once I get down to 30% it free falls.

Or…its the German word for children

I would play again but a replacement guitar is so expensive. I guess I could buy used but that feels risky

Passive voice is completely fine to use.