Don’t feel bad, I used to work as a writer.

Born politician right there. Seriously, some of the shittiest villains in politics would nonetheless wow you with how they can legitimately work an entire room full of people, remember names, make you feel special, etc.

I can throw dog treats with absurd accuracy and nearly always bounce/spin/toss them right near my dogs. Until I point it out.

You don’t HAVE to get kicked in the nuts to make a baby any more than you “have to” kiss your partner. But it’s called foreplay and it’s pretty common?

I probably don’t either. I’m just open to the idea.

Speak for yourself.

The guy from Reno 911! and Curb Your Enthusiasm!? Holy shit, he really ended up doing alright for himself.

I think you might have a very useful skill of actually finding good, compatible friends.

Yeah, okay. Good luck focusing when you’re interrupted by three square meals a day and a predictable bedtime.

“Again!? I really cannot afford this shit, babe!!!”

My car in high school did this and I used a coat hanger. Worked really well until it didn’t.

The cold, hard truth.

This is totally different. Iran is working on weapons of mass destruction.

You DO NOT want to make this man angry.

I also like the American Servicemembers Protection Act, which is a 2002 federal law that basically says, “if you try to charge any U.S. soldier or official for a war crime in the International Criminal Court, we will invade the Netherlands.”

No, really.

In a religious church/school I attended, we had a “revival” week in which kids took to destroying their “secular” CDs, etc. It became sort of a game of oneupmanship mixed with a dash of Satanic Panic. You could brag in chapel about it and get kudos, look good in front of everyone. One pre-teen/young teenage girl went home and put her Ouija board in a tub of gasoline and lit it. She barely survived, spent months in the hospital, and was never the same, obviously. The adults then comforted themselves by telling everyone that she had seen red eyes in the flames. It was for the best, you see, the Ouija board did indeed have a demon inside. After, she got really into Marilyn Manson, wearing all black, etc. so they cast her as the evil kid to feel even better, I guess.

The end.

Did I do it right? Did I do good?

So close, yet so far.

Khajiit has pussy if you have Skooma…

Maybe once there’s democracy there, things will settle down.

I lived in D.C. when I played it. Between that and it being the first of its kind in the series, none of the others come remotely close for me.