I usually slop my hog at least once a day to keep it happy and healthy.

Emphasis on the “auto.”

Pro-tip: wrap it behind yourself and let it rest over your shoulder, kind of like a shoulder cannon.

Well, not all of us have our massive schlongs figured out as well as you do, okay!?

Water?

I don’t think osterreichs have wiens.

It’s not just about the oil.

Schindler’s List 2: Checking it Twice

Northern Ireland is free!

Yeah, this is disgusting! Which site posted it!? There are so many of them!?

My ex-gf told me her ex-husband used to bless himself after sneezing by saying, “God bless you, Mr. Henderson!” to himself (name changed to protect the guilty).

I wouldn’t understand, but then I’m 1/128th Cherokee, so…

Much better than Tinder for solid matches in my experience.

But what if it’s Bill Gates and he’s been trying to find his lost sibling for inheritance purposes?

Why do you rich people always get off flaunting your wealth in our faces?

It’s not a Linux party without old Dick!

I just wish we could all be as gay as possible.

Now kiss.

She really was.