There’s a fifth, but

I thought we were ugly bags of mostly water.

Man I feel lucky, there are a ton of lightning bugs in my yard

The spotty yeety boi is so pretty but it can go fuck itself

I sing the alphabet in French.

Commonly it’s thought of as between red and purple. I don’t know where pink comes from.

A lot of them are plastic now which means they’re pretty much room temp

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

I had my phone in greyscale mode (and admittedly I’m a little high) and I thought “oh I bet that bathroom’s gorgeous in color” because I took your comment for serious and didn’t see the thumbnail very clearly ANYWAY lemme tell ya the disappointment when I took my phone off greyscale mode…

you got me good

Yup I loved baconreader!

I’ve always wanted to shave my head

I never realized his waistband had elastic before.

What’s a potato?

Or took AZO.

Oh my god I forgot all about Mallory Ortberg’s interpretations of monk paintings! I used to love these.

Unrelated but she once wrote something like “everyone knows that to properly make a bed, you need to circle it like a shark” and the truth of that has stuck with me ever since. Why is my brain like this haha

Imagine giving birth to that.

I mean, duh. Baked beans are stupidly sweet.

Holy shit she’s in her early thirties! Why do all these MAGA women get such awful fillers?

Pretty lady’s still rocking the waterfall braid! Give her a carrot for me :)

Do you really think Trump knows non-capital letters exist?