Didn’t he though? He left the plane in the hands of a capable pilot. No one else was injured. No property was lost.

Nolet’s. It’s got a complex flavor I haven’t fully explored yet.

It’s a pretty good bottle of gin for me, but otherwise: same.

So do I pour the drink now or wait until they admit it? Will we know the exact day they pull the plug? Did we already miss the appropriate day?

She’s MTG. She’s not against genocide. She’s against Jews.

Right? The service in Europe is fine as long as you never need anything.

Last Christmas my daughter kept getting closer to figuring things out until one night she cryptically said, “I can’t wait until I’m an adult so I can learn about grown up secrets.”

“What kind of secrets are those?”

“You know, like if Santa wasn’t real or something.”

“Well if Santa wasn’t real, then we’d definitely want to keep that secret from kids like your little brother, so we’d never ever talk about it.”

“Oh yeah.”

Then she never mentioned it again.

It may have been our fault for doing way too many holiday activities. She must have met four or five different Santas that year.

It’s not really about the evidence. Once they figure it out you can get them to play along a little longer, but they know.

Does she ever.

This would be amazing for my wife. I mean I guess it would have been amazing if she still had her original knee. Maybe it’ll be amazing for the other knee one day.

This is likely the best thing I will read today.

So then a person could make his living by interviewing for jobs he’s not qualified for and could never get? I guess that probably wouldn’t happen.

I didn’t used to hate the long interview process until I applied for a job that had me fill out like a hundred questions for background information. It was like, “Have you ever been convicted of embezzlement for an amount greater than $500?” No. “Have you ever been convicted of embezzlement for an amount less than $500?” No… “Have you ever been convicted of embezzlement for exactly $500?”

Did you know that if they can guess your crime with enough specificity, legally you have to admit to it? At least that’s what I assume, based on the questionnaire. Like, “Have you ever been convicted of violating the endangered species act while crossing state lines in a class C vehicle on a Sunday?” And I’m like, “No, but you’re so close!”

Anyway, I got the offer, but then they rescinded it when I asked for more money.

I totally get this and it’s the reason I get fast food with my kids sometimes. But McDonald’s? I haven’t had a meal I could finish from McDonald’s in like twenty years. It just gets worse and worse every year.

My wife used to wake up tired some mornings and not know why, until I pointed out that the difference was whether her cat was nibbling on her shirt all night.

I don’t live in a climate that supports that. My cat can come and go as she pleases. My other cat won’t come in at night because it’s not his territory.

That’s a good point. The article doesn’t seem to specify to what extent phones are banned.

I like to go the extra mile. I uncensor shit emphatically.

A censored “shit” in a post about Star Trek? “SHIT” in big Star Trek font.

“Cunt” in a post about the UK? Enjoy your “CUNT” dressed in a union jack.

The censored word is “cock”? Here’s “COCK” in flesh tones with bulging purple veins on it.

Fucking lean into it.

Nothing makes me feel older than seeing all this opposition to phone bans in school. I don’t understand when the rules changed to allow kids to use them in the first place. I grew up before cell phones were ubiquitous, but if I brought my GBA to class, it would get confiscated. Obviously.

Well now that’s a lot more blood than in the Spider-Man games.

Still blaming the glass cliff scapegoat?

You could have left that take on reddit. You didn’t have to bring it with you.