I’d quite like to see Michael Fassbender in the role.

I didn’t really enjoy Prometheus, but it showed us he can do subtly creepy.

Were you in Miss Phipps’ class with Abaddon The Bringer Of Anguish too?

Well, it’s Australia. Spiders have the vote.

Could be climate change, could be normal weather cycles. My country tends to get five wet years followed by five dry years.

Enjoying your own awkward company. In that situation I can’t make eye contact with myself.

“Fox proposes new brand of locks for henhouse.”

How so?

“I’m not here to fuck spiders” - said by Australians who want to drop the preamble and get down to business.

Anchovies with olives and capers.

Salt, salt and salt? I’m on board, but I wonder how many other people would be.

My only rule for colour is that I should be able to spot it immediately if I drop it in a narrow, unlit crevice. I’ve got some bright red and safety orange tools.

But it WON’T blow my mind because all these articles ever say is “eh, maybe”.

I’m not allowed another wife.

I’m over 50.

They’d wear four pairs of jeans and older octopuses would criticise them for sagging their waists.

One tyrant rose up and overthrew another. Ordinary people like us were left to carry the cost.

Dangers of shooting video in portrait mode confirmed.

I just assume I said something factually wrong and now dozens of helpful people are lining up to correct me.

That’s an optimistic vision, and I’m going to do my best to adopt it.

I’d say yes, because dishonesty shouldn’t be tolerated. They’re going after the million-dollar fraudsters as well, right?

When it gets to the end of your digestive track, you would just take a seat on a toilet equipped with an automatic cleaning and recovery module. Or, all of the devices could be collected for refurbishment at the water treatment plant.

I am absolutely not swallowing one of those more than once.