Seriously you read about people who die young, and people always pretend to care after they are already dead like “omg, this is so sad, they could’ve acomplished so much, he had a bright future ahead of him! wHaT a tRaGeDy, iF oNlY wE cOuLd’vE FoRSeEn tHiS”…
why didn’t y’all do anything while they were still alive? hypocrites…
Think you just pinpointed a major kink of your depression. Consumed by what others are thinking, even though that’s their problem and not your’s. I’m sure there’s more, but I wouldn’t be consumed about how you appear to others unless you want to live for everyone else’s ideals and the xp citations rather than what you want.
If everyone decides to hate you and treat you like you’re contagious for having depression because mental health stigma has come back with a vengeance over the past five years, then that absolutely is your problem.
If you can’t land a job because potential employers always ask about that gap in your resume that you can’t explain cause you were too depressed to function, that’s definitely your problem too.
I’m sick of this “Oh just stop caring what other people think of you, it’ll be fine.” It’s no better than saying “Why are you depressed? Your life is fine. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get out of bed, take a shower, eat healthier, get some exercise, find a hobby, go out and meet people, make friends, yadda yadda yadda.”
It puts the impetus on the person suffering from depression to somehow magically bootstrap their way back to perfect mental health by some imaginary force of will as if it were as simple as flipping a light switch, when for many people with depression the reality is that they’ve tried all things and can’t manage to do them with any consistency, the depression itself makes them infinitely harder, and often some of these options simply aren’t on the table (like “making friends” in a word that’s collectively allergic to depressed people). If you cant remember the last time you were genuinely happy, because you were basically a young kid at that time, then your physical brain has developed in ways that leave it deficient in the structures and functions that produce the experience of happiness.
What is so hard to understand about that?
I always see this argument and think ‘you’re just backing yourself into a corner’.
You seem absolutely sure what the solution isn’t, do you know what the solution is?
Is anyone who’s backed into a corner there because they backed themselves into it? Cause that seems concerningly adjacent to victim-blaming mentality.
We don’t do it for abuse victims, we don’t do it for people in poverty, and we don’t do it for people with chronic (physical) illnesses or permanent injuries. So why is it okay to do it for people with depression?
I think that’s the spirit of this post.
And just because I don’t have a viable miracle solution doesn’t mean I can’t tell you what doesn’t work. That’s a silly notion. If the solution is so simple, I wouldn’t have been suffering from depression for so long.
People like you seem to believe we choose to be depressed, because why? You think we just like the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness? You think we enjoy constant despair and don’t ever want to be lifted out of it?
At first I didn’t like your comment because I think strangers on the internet should not be getting into others’ heads, naming stuff.
OP’s title might have been hypothetical
But the second paragraph is on-point. I stopped having my issues once I let me to take part in my life
Aye. Internet comments are usually opinion vs opinion; worrying about the thoughts of others first, knowing there’s a conflict to “win” rather than ponder.
Online commentary is usually people never making it past the preface before slamming the book. That’s why news article titles are how they are; few people actually open and read the article.
Experiences be experiences, though. I could well be wrong, but the worst that happens is my advice was irrelevant. I’d be silly to not try help.
My kudos to you for keeping it real and listening to the whole song 🙂
Edit; Sorry, I rambled. In my defence I’m drunk because a bunch of my family died this week. Dunno why I’m saying this, but I guess that’s the ramble. Thanks for listening.