Seriously you read about people who die young, and people always pretend to care after they are already dead like “omg, this is so sad, they could’ve acomplished so much, he had a bright future ahead of him! wHaT a tRaGeDy, iF oNlY wE cOuLd’vE FoRSeEn tHiS”…
why didn’t y’all do anything while they were still alive? hypocrites…
While people are alive, their accomplishments are always being compared to expectations; but if they die before accomplishing anything, the expectations are all that’s left.
Think you just pinpointed a major kink of your depression. Consumed by what others are thinking, even though that’s their problem and not your’s. I’m sure there’s more, but I wouldn’t be consumed about how you appear to others unless you want to live for everyone else’s ideals and the xp citations rather than what you want.
If everyone decides to hate you and treat you like you’re contagious for having depression because mental health stigma has come back with a vengeance over the past five years, then that absolutely is your problem.
If you can’t land a job because potential employers always ask about that gap in your resume that you can’t explain cause you were too depressed to function, that’s definitely your problem too.
I’m sick of this “Oh just stop caring what other people think of you, it’ll be fine.” It’s no better than saying “Why are you depressed? Your life is fine. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get out of bed, take a shower, eat healthier, get some exercise, find a hobby, go out and meet people, make friends, yadda yadda yadda.”
It puts the impetus on the person suffering from depression to somehow magically bootstrap their way back to perfect mental health by some imaginary force of will as if it were as simple as flipping a light switch, when for many people with depression the reality is that they’ve tried all things and can’t manage to do them with any consistency, the depression itself makes them infinitely harder, and often some of these options simply aren’t on the table (like “making friends” in a word that’s collectively allergic to depressed people). If you cant remember the last time you were genuinely happy, because you were basically a young kid at that time, then your physical brain has developed in ways that leave it deficient in the structures and functions that produce the experience of happiness.
What is so hard to understand about that?
I always see this argument and think ‘you’re just backing yourself into a corner’.
You seem absolutely sure what the solution isn’t, do you know what the solution is?
Is anyone who’s backed into a corner there because they backed themselves into it? Cause that seems concerningly adjacent to victim-blaming mentality.
We don’t do it for abuse victims, we don’t do it for people in poverty, and we don’t do it for people with chronic (physical) illnesses or permanent injuries. So why is it okay to do it for people with depression?
I think that’s the spirit of this post.
And just because I don’t have a viable miracle solution doesn’t mean I can’t tell you what doesn’t work. That’s a silly notion. If the solution is so simple, I wouldn’t have been suffering from depression for so long.
People like you seem to believe we choose to be depressed, because why? You think we just like the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness? You think we enjoy constant despair and don’t ever want to be lifted out of it?
At first I didn’t like your comment because I think strangers on the internet should not be getting into others’ heads, naming stuff.
OP’s title might have been hypotheticalBut the second paragraph is on-point. I stopped having my issues once I let me to take part in my life
Aye. Internet comments are usually opinion vs opinion; worrying about the thoughts of others first, knowing there’s a conflict to “win” rather than ponder.
Online commentary is usually people never making it past the preface before slamming the book. That’s why news article titles are how they are; few people actually open and read the article.
Experiences be experiences, though. I could well be wrong, but the worst that happens is my advice was irrelevant. I’d be silly to not try help.
My kudos to you for keeping it real and listening to the whole song 🙂
Edit; Sorry, I rambled. In my defence I’m drunk because a bunch of my family died this week. Dunno why I’m saying this, but I guess that’s the ramble. Thanks for listening.
Calling someone a loser or saying they haven’t accomplished anything is a judgement on someone’s past and present self.
Talking about someone’s bright future is recognition of the fact that they had potential and opportunities that will never be realized.
If you’re thinking about suicide, please call 988 (USA) or an equivalent service in your country. I hope you get well soon.
The 988 where they trace your phone call and send armed thugs to your house so they can take you to a place you don’t wanna be?
Lol, nah, I’m good, I’d rather just rant online
What? Ok so I’ll ignore how ridiculous that is and just suggest another resource because talking about being depressed and how people will remember you or not in the same sentence is a big red flag for suicidal thoughts.
-crisis text line: text hello to 741741
The only way to get respect from the monkeys while you’re alive is by generating bananas. Lots of bananas.
Look. This is politeness. This is slightly different, but kinda related… I’m a teacher. If a kid got bad grades, obviously he did, the parents will see that. In my written comment, should I say he was a slacker? No. Why bother. Better to express hope for what he can do well in the future.
The same information is conveyed, but the respect shown to the person is different.
It’s nice to say nice things about people who’ve passed away.
Like if someone in their 20s passes away, and you’re at their wake after the funeral, you’re not going to say “well I kind of always just tolerated him but he was never going to amount to much and I didn’t really like him”.
No, you’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead. Doesn’t mean you have to make shit up. I didn’t say a word at my father’s funeral.
I didn’t say it’s mandatory to say nice things about people who have died.
I’m sorry your dad was shit.
Idk when my brother shot himself I would gladly have told the whole church about the time he was swerving while drunk driving and laughing at me for being scared at like 13 years old or the time he held me over the edge of a cliff. The pastor took me for a walk and let me rant at him instead. Great dude actually he was a dead ringer for Fred Rogers in appearance, personality, and profession.
Sure but both you and that pastor clearly understand why saying that to the whole church would not have served any purpose and made you look like an asshole, right?
I thought that was the obvious subtext of the statement but apparently did not adequately account for variations in reading comprehension.
Starting the comment with idk implies that you are starting a counter argument. As in, I don’t know if that’s true…
lol you really tryna introduce debate etiquette to the comments section when
youthey also answered “but you…clearly…right?” implying certainty that I did, whichyouthey were correct about. And now you also somehow wanna continue after someone alreadytold you yousaid they were right by asking if internet slang is a form of textual chironomia.That wasn’t me. I’m a third party who read the conversation between the two of you and decided that your extra snark was uncalled for.
LOL. No is not that obvious.
Me: “Saying mean things about dead people makes you an asshole”
You: “Yeah well my dead brother was an asshole”
Comprehension indeed.
It’s nice to say things about people who have passed away
eh some people are abusive assholes who deserve to be remembered for it but sometimes a positive adult authority figure can help you process it in a healthier and more socially acceptable way that doesn’t piss the rest of the family off so you can make the informed decision to cut them all off as an adult after they’re done paying for your college. Eventually someone will have to step up and be the family asshole who says the ugly shit that needs to be said, but it’s not a responsibility that should be placed on a 16y/o.
If you are, hang in there. The emotional weather can change!
Makes me wonder what I would be called if I died in a car crash at my current age of 40 🤔
“That maniac just drove through the mall and took out Santa and 3 of his elves before crashing into the Spencer’s Gifts and exploding!”
“It’s a Christmas miracle he survived!”
Often they’re sad he didn’t realize he had a bright future ahead. Fortunately, you do. Or if you didn’t, you do now. You can’t judge your life by how it is now. Especially with the world in shitty shape generally. But mostly because you’re young. Regrets for your wasted promise are a privilege reserved for old farts like myself. You still have choices to make, and time for them to play out. Choose as well as you can. And don’t be afraid to change directions as necessary.
A lot of people struggle with depression, but like most things in life, the key is practice. Just keep it up, don’t get discouraged! One day you will be great at depression.
So great at depression, you um… die by big sad
Hindsight is 20/20, even Van Gogh was totally ignored until after his tragic death.
Shot himself in the chest allegedly
Edited to correct my incorrect statement.
Mostly true but one thing is wrong, no one is ostracizing you. Most people don’t think about anyone other than themselves.
