My computer’s startup beep gets a pass. That little noise is sooo reassuring to hear.
Glorious POST. The only acceptable noise
I miss my floppy drive greeting me.
It’s praying to you in it’s own tongue, this is the way of righteous machines
You should record it.
When it makes the tones you never hear, and RAM is ridiculously expensive.
*sniff*
None of my hardware talks to me. I also shut down the Christmas lights in my case, and on my mouse.
I haven’t come across a kiosk that talks yet, but I suppose it will happen any day now.
I don’t want them in my case,
I don’t want them on my mouse.(Reference to Ted Cruz’s awful poetry)
“Please place item in bagging area.”
Fuck off already!
ADDENDUM: You are allowed to speak to me if you use a cute accent.
Dank Pods’s sexy Speaker gets a pass.
Found the Hatsune Miku fan.
I was thinking of the australian voice my last gps app used. She was very seductive.
Turn left at the stoplight…daddy
I instinctively reply to self checkouts politely but sarcastically. I hope our eventual overlords take it in good humour.
Okay like yeah, I agree, BUT
there are few day-to-day mundane-things as funny as maxing out the volume on self-checkout machines which allow you to do so
“Please place your items in the bagging area” becomes
“Please place your items in the bagging area”
If it speaks it has a tongue. If it has a tongue, it can be cut out.
And get you arrested, screaming “I wasn’t trying to steal cash from the self-checkout machine, just rip its speaker wires!”
“Alexa, shut the fuck up, you have no right to speak in my holy tongue.”
While I’d like to think the response to that would be interesting, it probably isn’t. Anyone want to try?
I want to try any time I’m in a house with a “smart” speaker.
One of my worst experiences with a bot was calling Australia Post to try and track down a package that was sent to the wrong address. I had to speak the tracking number to the ‘voice recognition software’ because it was alpha-numeric, and no matter how slowly or deliberately I enunciated it, it could not recognise it. I tried dozens of times, and couldn’t get through to a human until it had the number, until 6pm ticked over and the call centre closed.
New kink unlocked
“Ugh, yes, call me a stupid clanker! Turn me off and back on again!”
Damn, my eyeballs were having a pretty good morning…
I’m not anti-ai, but I do not ever want a bot to interrupt and talk to me or ask me for information. one of my irc channels has a couple of bots ranting from command-prompted to trigger prompted, to full llm and GOD DAMN no one asked for a bit to commentate on my participation. shut. the fuck. up.
I swear, I’m not a curmudgeon.
That’s sad. IRC-type boys were good and shouldn’t be sullied by those of today.
Edit: I stand by my typo
I’m not anti-ai
Downvote
(Image source, for those curious)
I might consider using voice prompts on Google assistant if it wasn’t so terrible at understanding me. You’d think after over a decade and with all their resources Google could have made it better at understanding a British accent. It still gets about 1/5 words completely wrong.
The thing never understood my local dialect and speaking to electronics like you’re speaking to the king in your most polished language is never gonna happen. It usually gets even worse with multiple languages. Ask the assistent in English to play a French song and be horrified what it actually comes up with. It might have improved, I haven’t tested this in quite some time, but I can’t be bothered with it.
The mind of man is holy.
