• qualia@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    I’m taking bids for a contract: what’s the minimum rate of surgeries per year you can offer to make me immortal. I offer a perpetual fraction of my lifetime earnings, to be agreed upon later.

    • OwOarchist@pawb.social
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      8 days ago

      I can make you immortal with zero surgeries per year! Just sign right here for 20% of your lifetime earnings in perpetuity.

      Sure, sure, I know that sounds like a scam, but don’t worry – it’s guaranteed! If you ever die (thus discovering that you have not, in fact, been made immortal), you’re entitled to a full refund of everything you’ve ever paid into it, plus interest!