SIGTERM: stop that.

SIGKILL: That was not a request.

Case power button: listen here you little shit

If he wins, we’re not going quietly either.

You think the Oompa Loompa is gonna lose quietly?

Oh no, friend, that’s when shit gets real.

“oh no, the vegans are leaving!” said no-one ever

it’s nice to see I’ve never had an original thought in my life

The homing briefcase will forever be one of my favorite if not my absolute favorite bugs. Especially as it was later embraced as a feature.

Now for some reason I really want to see “Pink Floyd / The Wall” edited into the Walmart font.

not for men

Don’t you tell me what I can and can not stick up my funhole. I thought this was America.

That said, while the natural resting place for Donald Trump’s head is inside an asshole – his own – I’ll pass, I’ve got better toys already.

it’s almost like people can have shared experiences or something. Wild!

There’s a big sign from the 2016 election still up on a main road near here, and it tickles me pink to see all the owner did was put some thin red tape over Pence’s name in a big X. Not enough money for a new sign? Too bad. Not smart enough to paint over the P E and repaint it as V A? Lmao.

One of these days I really must go vandalize that thing, orange paintballs are cheap and they make non-water-soluble ones for marking trees. Honestly just haven’t been able to give enough of a shit.

no, this is patrick

Like that.

I have achieved that, when I was younger and skinnier, and it’s not even all that great. For one, yeah, kills your back. Two, it’s more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked, so let’s hope you’re good at that – and if you are, you’re going to end up with a mouth full of cum.

Now, I’m gay, so these last two points didn’t bother me any, but I was so sore from the experience I did it like twice and then never bothered again. I imagine a straight guy would be even less impressed.

not by the time it’s done compiling, it’s not

Ah, yes, “your attitude now is bad so clearly your attitude was always bad and that’s why you’re alone”. Naw, I used to have a better attitude, as I said in my original comment, and having a good attitude didn’t help one bit (which was the point of my original comment). And trying to pretend it does, doesn’t help anyone – I could have the sunniest disposition in the world, but that doesn’t change shit about the world around me – being an optimist doesn’t help you if, say, the house is on fire. And the world around me wants very little to do with me romantically, and pretty much always has. I can either accept that, or I can live in denial of it, but neither changes it.

Good for you, I’m glad you have better luck than I do.

You seem to think that because I’m not willing to put in effort anymore, that means I never did. Allow me to correct you. I spent long enough putting in extraordinary amounts of effort for a very long time and merely got shit on in return, but I’m glad it worked out better for you, really I am. But in so many words, I’m the one who gets to decide when I’ve had enough heartbreak, not you.

I never said everything is outside your control, don’t put words in my mouth. There are some things you can change, and some things you can’t. And after spending long enough trying different things and taking stock of what I’ve tried in the dating game, and not a single human being has ever had any genuine interest in me, as I approach my 30s – I have come to this conclusion not through flip “woe is me” bullshit over a night of binge drinking, this is years of depression and deep thought on it. I accept the reality that is presented to me, and the reality is that whatever drives others away is simply not something I can change, and my best going theory is I’m just an annoying fucking spastic who can’t see through bullshit. That’s not to say I know that for certain, just that I’ve tried changing up everything that I can (and am willing to) change to attract another person – from small things to large – and it’s never helped, and I’ve tried for long enough.

Some of us just aren’t meant to have certain things in life.

Oh please, I tried that “fake it til you make it” horseshit and it was worn away through years of constant shitheads using me for their entertainment, all the while trying my hardest to believe it would come eventually.

The hard facts of life are this: life is not a fairy tale. Not every story has a happy ending. As you read this, there are kids out there catching bullets in Gaza who will never even get to finish puberty, let alone find love. Nothing is guaranteed – you can try as hard as you want at something, and sometimes you simply will not have it for factors entirely outside of your control. Some people will never be able to serve on submarines, because they are too tall. Some people will never be able to be a commercial pilot, because they are colorblind. Likewise, some of us just aren’t destined for love, be it for any myriad constellations of internal and external factors.

In my case, I have mild autism, and I can never mask well enough that someone decent won’t see through my facade. Oh, sure, I’m apparently fun to be around for brief periods at a time, but I guess the novelty of a spastic wears off for them and they quickly make their exit, ghosting me soon enough. But more upsettingly, all the horrible people who stick around to use me for their entertainment, I can never see through theirs before it’s too late.

It’s not fair. But sometimes that’s just how things are.

And now, knowing what I do, I’d not put effort towards something as hard to find and keep as love. At least when I put my efforts towards other pursuits, I can see measurable progress in some way. Trying to find love was like ramming my head against a brick wall and hoping the wall would break before I did. If you want to help someone who’s on that “forever alone” drivel, it’s a bitter pill to swallow, but they’re much better off putting their effort towards things they’re actually making progress in. Your best chance of finding love in such a scenario? Dumb luck. It will either fall out of the great blue sky for you, or it won’t, and that’s just how it is.

This is your daily reminder that Firefox and its derivatives exist and should be used wherever possible if you care about Google not having a monopoly over the internet. There’s even a Firefox-based version of Discord called Datcord.