For those out of the loop, WomensStuff has a women-only rule, where men are respectfully asked to not reply to posts.

  • Taleya@aussie.zone
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    2 months ago

    The fucking comments on here are insane. It’s not a private comm, and pretty much every comment that’s been deleted for being posted by a male user was because they explicitly stated they were male. As in started off a comment (usually on women’s issues) with “as a guy…”

    Go on a linux forum and post “as a windows user…”

    Go on PC gamers and post “as a console gamer…”

    Would have a problem with being told “this is not for you” then? No, you wouldn’t. You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak. Get over it.

    And to those who demand it be taken off all: fucking learn how to curate your own experience. Skip over or block it the same way you would other communities that have nothing for you

    • skisnow@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      Go on a linux forum and post “as a windows user…”

      Go on PC gamers and post “as a console gamer…”

      Would have a problem with being told “this is not for you” then? No, you wouldn’t.

      This is a terrible example, because yes absolutely I would indeed consider the mods to be militant over-the-top a-holes if they deleted and blocked all comments just because they were from Windows or console users.

      • zqps@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Consider what the word “majority” means and how that impacts the balance of such discussions. Especially on a platform where people vote on each other’s comments.

        In the Linux forum example, the occasional “as a Windows user…” comment isn’t a problem, but it does become one when it makes up 80-90% of comments / visitors. Try to understand how this shapes a community when the relatively few directly affected people (for whom the community was created in the first place) are annoyed by this and stop contributing.

        This is why you need both kinds of spaces, and why it’s silly and short-sighted to get mad over this policy.

    • recklessengagement@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Facts right here. Learn how to let people have their own space. Sometimes a thing isn’t meant for you, and that’s okay.

    • GaMEChld@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Yeah, I concur. When I learned I wasn’t allowed to speak there, I simply blocked it and moved on. They can have whatever rules they want. No one is obligated to be there.

      On the flip side, I can see it being irksome to click a post and have your comment be deleted because you didn’t notice that community it was or didn’t read every rule for every community.

      I’ll wager the vast majority of users don’t read community rules until they run afoul of one. Personally, I just shrug it off and move on, it’s not like whining about it is going to make an entire community change it’s rules to accommodate you.

      • leftthegroup@lemmings.world
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        2 months ago

        I feel based on the name of the community, some rules would be obvious. But a “absolutely nothing from you, male scum” isn’t obvious.

        I posted one there yesterday or this morning, haven’t checked on it, but it’s probably deleted now. No harm no foul. It wasn’t meant to break a rule, and they can do what they want. But I would’ve never even known if not for this post.

        But I will be blocking the sub now. Both because I’m apparently not welcome, and because I will probably accidentally do it again otherwise.

        Edit: It wasn’t that sub after checking. Phew. One less toxic place to be.

        • zqps@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          “male scum” oof. Maybe cool it a little with the self-victimization, friend.

          If you genuinely don’t understand why it’s helpful to have both kinds of spaces and not something to get mad about, I’m happy to explain. But some good-faith effort on your part is required.

        • Taleya@aussie.zone
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          2 months ago

          “Women only…trans women are women, and gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (eg non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a woman’s community is a good fit for them”

          Literally does not say “male scum”, that’s something you’ve invented entirely. Wonder why that’s your response.

        • TSG_Asmodeus (he, him)@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          I feel based on the name of the community, some rules would be obvious. But a “absolutely nothing from you, male scum” isn’t obvious.

          Rules…

          Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women’s community is a good fit for them.

          I understand, you’re a man, you have an opinion, and being told ‘no’ just won’t cut it, will it?

          • Javi@feddit.uk
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            2 months ago

            Did you miss the first 9 words you quoted or something? Seems like you’re misrepresenting what was said in quite a profound way.

            OP claims it’s not obvious from the title; you claim it’s obvious from the rules; Both of these statements can be true at the same time.

            Also, now that they’re aware, they’ve blocked the community to prevent any engagement… Can you explain how that translates to them not accepting the situation?

      • Taleya@aussie.zone
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        2 months ago

        Eh, irkers can sit down. It’s long been a thing about paying attention to community rules before posting, and if you don’t and violate them, you don’t get to whinge.

        • loudwhisper@infosec.pub
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          2 months ago

          To be fair the vast, vast majority of the rules are simply common sense stuff. If you are not an asshole, you can avoid reading community rules and in 99% of case you won’t violate any.

    • AA5B@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      BS, we had the same argument on Reddit

      • TwoX was militant about no guys
      • whatever men’s subreddit was welcoming to women’s reply but wanted them to be honest what gender they were

      So as a guy on some men only subreddit, I also welcomed the opinion of women while expecting them to clarify.

      As a nerd in many “year of Linux on the desktop” debates, I welcomed constructive opinions from the benighted fools

      As a PC gamer I want to game with my buddies so yes I want the opinion of those on consoles

      • Taleya@aussie.zone
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        2 months ago

        So as a guy on some men only subreddit, I also welcomed the opinion of women while expecting them to clarify.

        So you’re ok with a community defining how it wants people outside its demographic to interact with it?

        Also you literally do not have to interact with the community. No one is shoving it in your face or demanding you join and then going HAHAHHAHA PSYCH you can literally just scroll past it.

        • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          No other publically visible community has posts that I find interesting but am not allowed to interact with.

    • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak. Get over it.

      Isn’t the goal to move past this behavior when based on immutable qualities rather than merit? The ethical value of a reverse country club model is pretty controversial.

    • Jarix@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak.

      I respect their rules on that community as browsing Everything (Sync) it shows up for me fairly regularly and I haven’t had any issues.

      I reject the part I literally quoted.

      I care about precision in communication and fighting against entropic decay in how we communicate so I feel compelled to respond to this quote.

      I am a male and because of that I have no turn to speak there so you are flat out wrong. It will never be my turn. It is inaccurate what you are saying.

      Please consider reframing what you said.

      and using literally there makes your error much more egregious, literally