• FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    the reality is more nuanced

    In general, when it comes to dating, it seems everyone really just wants the idea in their head and nothing else. I’m just glad I’m a person who doesn’t need someone else to feel whole.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Having an idea in your head what you want your relationship or partner to be like is called “having values” and it’s an ever-changing, nebulous idea that shifts until you find someone who wants sort of the same thing, and then you work on compromising that idea together.

      Yes it’s more challenging if you use things like social media and dating apps to try to connect with people because those platforms discourage that process of finding alignment together and make relationships feel more like amazon shopping, where what you see is what you get.

    • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      I haven’t experienced this at all. I don’t doubt your experience and you’re not the only one saying this, but I wonder why our experiences are so different? I never really did the online dating thing though.