(Washington DC) As the White House attempts to make the trump presidency feel longer by making every week feel like a century, some republicans acclimated to the chaos are casting eager eyes to the 2028 election. And Vance supporters are alarmed by their views.
“Sure, he’s got the couch thing,” said republican voter Karen Hannagen. “But he’s never been to prison. And have you seen the big head memes they’ve got about him? He’s one pair of overalls away from Kentucky, in my book.”
Views like this one have Vance supporter concerned. Nancy Kegal, chair of the ‘Elect Vance Unless Trump Tragically Dies in the Near Future’ Action Committee, says Vance has a lot more crazy buried deep inside than people realize. “Have you ever looked at his eyes? I wouldn’t get in a car with this man.” However Kegal had trouble citing examples, and when pressed admitted Vance often acted more privileged than mentally unstable. “It takes a certain kind of leader to praise a country’s leader at noon and start a trade war with them at before dinner, but vance has been in the same room as trump… they’ve looked at the first page of the same briefings, taken the same pills, and done other things that, when you’re famous, they let you do it. If anyone can be the next trump, it’s vance.”
Other republicans also look eagerly to the next election, over 2 years away. “Trump is fine, but he’s getting repetitive,” said Leo Sturbgetter, a cow detangler in Eastern Florida. “Also if he runs, they say Obama might run again, which is illegal, so trump has to stop him by not running. Me I like that RFK guy, he looks like someone I could ask for meth if he knew I weren’t no cop.” The Republican National Committee refuses to weigh in on the matter, saying, “The prompt you requested is not allowed in ChatGPT, please rephrase your request.”
When asked about her preference, Karen Hannegen says she was sad the president couldn’t run again. “When I see trump, I think about my daddy smacking me and telling me it was for my own good. America needs a good smack sometimes… just don’t touch my Medicaid. I think that Tiger King might be a good president, or maybe, who’s that guy that jumps over building? Super Dave? Evil Kineval? Maybe one of them.”
You say that like trump is going…anywhere.
Don’t you guys get it? This is a fully fascist government. Fuck the rules, fuck the people, fuck you. That’s what time period we’re living in.
Two term limit? Well then it’s just time for a full on dictatorship to be called as such. And half the country would support it.
I am not being obtuse when I say that the only way I see trump not being in power in 2029, is by death or civil war.
And everybody pretending he’s not a full on fascist dictator are only lying to themselves.
The non-sarcastic answer to this is that people have to say “no” when he tries to take power. And I have a strange faith that, in the end, people will realize they have to tell him no, or they will end up eventually shot against a wall, either by the people in revolution, or trump when he’s done with them.