A part that complicates things is that incels, contrary to what the name implies, choose to be incels. Also, working with incels specifically could end up giving a perverse incentive (or whatever it’s called when an effort to reduce something instead becomes an incentive to increase it) to be an incel to get help.
I realize you’re probably just making a joke but the reality is that there are few people so ugly that no one would have sex with them. Even if you keep your standards high, I’m sure there’s many cases of someone whose own mother would cry at the sight of that managed attract a model who is just into that.
But the attitude is very off-putting, more so than whatever physical characteristics they think disqualifies them from love or sex (and a good number of them aren’t even unattractive but just have no self-esteem and hate themselves so much they either can’t believe someone else would like them or that someone who does must have big problems of their own or is lying to use them).
Even the niceguy attitude is offputting, and the incel attitude is pretty much that but replace the sadness with anger and the depression with rage, and add a bunch of BS masquerading as the science of attraction that proves they aren’t attractive and ignores that it’s subjective and that there’s this weird “so ugly it’s cute” category that some/many people seem to have (though it usually applies to animals rather than people).
This is the Just World Fallacy. Saying “You can’t get laid because you have a bad attitude” isn’t any different from saying “The reason why you’re homeless is because of your bad attitude.”
Okay. Does that help at all? Abso-fucking-lutely not.
I disagree that it’s unhelpful. I’ll agree that it’s not an easy thing like “just smile more, you’ll get laid!” But step 1 for any incel to actually get laid would be to stop being a fucking incel and recognize that no one owes them sex, affection, or even a moment of their time to hear them out or explain why they won’t.
If you choose to wallow in something, whether it be inceldom or depression, you’re going to find it very difficult or impossible to come out of that.
Incels sound like a toxic cult, and I’m not sure how much you can blame people for getting indoctrinated into a cult.
Depression is a disease which is treated with medication and therapy, so I don’t see that as similar at all.
What I find interesting is that most people try to counter this with “Just do this, and then maybe you’ll get laid”, instead of pointing out how self-centered the entire concept is in the first place.
But step 1 for any incel to actually get laid would be to stop being a fucking incel and recognize that no one owes them sex, affection, or even a moment of their time to hear them out or explain why they won’t.
No, that is not step 1 for actually getting laid, because there is no step 1 for that. Some people are doomed to be alone and miserable, and for some of them, that’s never going to change. That’s just how it is. I wish we’d built a better society which actually takes care of people, but that isn’t the one we live in. I just do my best to try to make things better.
What we really need is legalized sex work, but there’d have to be protections for the workers so they wouldn’t have to worry about being abused by their clientele. Legalized sex work with strong sex workers’ unions would be ideal.
Yeah, inceldom is a mindset, choosing to be bitter about their state of affairs and lash out at others for not wanting them. I don’t frequent their areas, but some of them blame various ratios of their facial positioning when their face is fine, it’s just their attitude that is shitty.
I guess it could be argued how much one can change their personality to be less off-putting, but I’ve known some real ugly dudes that have had fine dating lives.
A part that complicates things is that incels, contrary to what the name implies, choose to be incels. Also, working with incels specifically could end up giving a perverse incentive (or whatever it’s called when an effort to reduce something instead becomes an incentive to increase it) to be an incel to get help.
thats a volcel, no?
I realize you’re probably just making a joke but the reality is that there are few people so ugly that no one would have sex with them. Even if you keep your standards high, I’m sure there’s many cases of someone whose own mother would cry at the sight of that managed attract a model who is just into that.
But the attitude is very off-putting, more so than whatever physical characteristics they think disqualifies them from love or sex (and a good number of them aren’t even unattractive but just have no self-esteem and hate themselves so much they either can’t believe someone else would like them or that someone who does must have big problems of their own or is lying to use them).
Even the niceguy attitude is offputting, and the incel attitude is pretty much that but replace the sadness with anger and the depression with rage, and add a bunch of BS masquerading as the science of attraction that proves they aren’t attractive and ignores that it’s subjective and that there’s this weird “so ugly it’s cute” category that some/many people seem to have (though it usually applies to animals rather than people).
This is the Just World Fallacy. Saying “You can’t get laid because you have a bad attitude” isn’t any different from saying “The reason why you’re homeless is because of your bad attitude.”
Okay. Does that help at all? Abso-fucking-lutely not.
I disagree that it’s unhelpful. I’ll agree that it’s not an easy thing like “just smile more, you’ll get laid!” But step 1 for any incel to actually get laid would be to stop being a fucking incel and recognize that no one owes them sex, affection, or even a moment of their time to hear them out or explain why they won’t.
If you choose to wallow in something, whether it be inceldom or depression, you’re going to find it very difficult or impossible to come out of that.
Incels sound like a toxic cult, and I’m not sure how much you can blame people for getting indoctrinated into a cult.
Depression is a disease which is treated with medication and therapy, so I don’t see that as similar at all.
What I find interesting is that most people try to counter this with “Just do this, and then maybe you’ll get laid”, instead of pointing out how self-centered the entire concept is in the first place.
No, that is not step 1 for actually getting laid, because there is no step 1 for that. Some people are doomed to be alone and miserable, and for some of them, that’s never going to change. That’s just how it is. I wish we’d built a better society which actually takes care of people, but that isn’t the one we live in. I just do my best to try to make things better.
What we really need is legalized sex work, but there’d have to be protections for the workers so they wouldn’t have to worry about being abused by their clientele. Legalized sex work with strong sex workers’ unions would be ideal.
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Well, you choose whether or not to identify as an incel. Which is what you mean, I assume.
Yeah, inceldom is a mindset, choosing to be bitter about their state of affairs and lash out at others for not wanting them. I don’t frequent their areas, but some of them blame various ratios of their facial positioning when their face is fine, it’s just their attitude that is shitty.
I guess it could be argued how much one can change their personality to be less off-putting, but I’ve known some real ugly dudes that have had fine dating lives.
Sure, but what you’re describing here is more than just an attitude. It’s a cult.