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Lady Butterfly she/her@reddthat.com to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 5 days ago

Oh there's a plan

reddthat.com

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Oh there's a plan

reddthat.com

Lady Butterfly she/her@reddthat.com to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 5 days ago
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  • TheLowestStone@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    I have IBS that is triggered by sugar alcohols. Eating one whole apple gives me awful gas about an hour later followed by 8-12 hours of violent diarrhea the next day.

    So… One apple is enough to everyone away from me.

    • teslekova@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      On the other hand, if you keep an apple on hand you will never be stuck in the middle of a zero-g space station.

  • Asafum@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    The secret to keep everyone away is not how many apples you eat, but how many entire bulbs of garlic you eat!

    The downside is that it keeps vampires away too. :(

    • diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

  • almost1337@lemmy.zip
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    5 days ago

    Eat enough apple seeds and you won’t have to worry about people or their proximity to you ever again.

  • skooma_king@piefed.social
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    5 days ago

    Could simplify the math and just carry around some durian fruit

  • plutopos@lemmy.zip
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    4 days ago

    Smh, everyone knows each profession is repelled by a different fruit

  • Slovene85@sh.itjust.works
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    4 days ago

    Aura? Is that a new term for explosive diarrhoea?

  • Simulation6@sopuli.xyz
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    4 days ago

    Do apples fit in a potato cannon?

  • A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Relevant Community

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfa8BH0tnnw

    • BEYOUBlåhaj@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      John Oliver jumspscare

  • WolfmanEightySix@piefed.social
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    5 days ago

    That’s why an apple keeps the doctor away. But I thought it was one apple.

    • schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de
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      5 days ago

      Yeah well https://xkcd.com/2161/

  • krisevol@lemmus.org
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    5 days ago

    About 200. You will key everyone away for 100’s of yards after the funeral.

  • macaw_dean_settle@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Why does it have to be Before Christ?

  • jdr@lemmy.ml
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    4 days ago

    Drywall? Go to a first world country! There are solid and expensive hospital walls! And other such public amenities!

    • chuckleslord@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Yes, it’s the material of our walls that’s the problem in American hospitals. You nailed it. Everyone can pack it in, we know what needs fixing now. /s

      BTW, y’all use bricks cause you wiped out all your trees, not cause you’re better than anyone. Paper, sheetrock, and wood are all perfectly acceptable building materials, assuming you haven’t already ripped up all the trees. They’re also quite a bit easier to work with and build, too.

      • Johanno@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 days ago

        While I admit that wood is a perfect fine building material building out of stone is just more durable.

        And in the USA they build paper thin houses out of wood, because no high quality standards exist and it is cheap. In Germany even houses out of wood are pretty durable and have higher quality than the average usa house.

        • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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          4 days ago

          We tend to demolish anything old and build something brand new, unlike a lot of Europe, too. Which I would think ends up costing more than fixing up an existing structure, depending on how well it was built in the first place. Or the craziest shit: Build a new house with old wood from a boat (shiplap).

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