• BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee
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    8 days ago

    Quick question, I’m also pan and only now beginning to explore my sexuality. I’ve avoided setting up a Grindr account because I always thought it was just a hookup app and I’m not particularly interested in casual sex. Do people actually date on there or is it’s reputation well earned? Haven’t had any luck with the fellas on tinder, hinge, or bumble. Maybe I just look too straight lol

    • meyotch@slrpnk.net
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      8 days ago

      Grindr is a cesspool, but I have made some quality matches. Some just-friends connections and yes hookups. Grindr is basically designed for that.

      But if you have a stand out profile that shows you as an active person with real interests (not just a fit torso, good god people, branch out!), other substantive people will be open to talking real connections.

      And hookups can be sad, gross affairs for sure. But not every short-term relationship has to be meaningless. It’s okay to agree to just play and enjoy the experience as a future treasured memory.

      For that more human kind of connection, however, Feeld is more likely to yield that in my experience.

      • BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee
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        8 days ago

        Oh yeah, no hate to hookups and short term relationships at all, just not really my cup of tea. I’m not even completely against it for myself but that’s something I would rather have happen organically than seek it out if that makes sense. I’m all about emotional connection before physical haha

        • meyotch@slrpnk.net
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          8 days ago

          Then definitely check out Feeld. The whole place is about the feels before the frolic. Good luck!

    • Xanthrax@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      It’s a lot more forward. Just tell people what you want up front. If you want to hook up, you want to hook up. Sometimes, you just want to be in the presence of a queer friend. Sometimes, that friendship turns into a 10-year relationship. Just be honest and safe. That’s how I met my partner. All that being said, that was a long time ago for me. So things may have changed.