• Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Or rather: don’t fake orgasms, make sure he knows if there’s something he can do better.

    Constrictive criticism and pointers is how we get better, especially at doing the things YOU specifically like.

    If he can’t roll with that, though, kick his ass to the curb. Maybe point and laugh at his weird penis first 😛

      • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        With you in principle and updooted you, but:

        That one was A) a joke and B) a joke about shaming those unwilling to learn for not being willing to learn. Not about shaming them into being better in any way. What do you think I am, a Catholic parent?

        • angrystego@lemmy.world
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          23 hours ago

          I’d argue that people are not obligated to learn. If they don’t want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them. Don’t push them to do something they don’t want to do. There’s no reason to be hostile about it.

          • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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            22 hours ago

            I’d argue that people are not obligated to learn

            I mean technically being selfish isn’t illegal… Still better for everyone if they aren’t, though 🤷

            If they don’t want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them.

            Except for the fact that the next one along is gonna get bad sex too. A lover is like a public park: when you’re done using it, the polite thing is to leave it as good or better than when you arrived.

            Don’t push them to do something they don’t want to do.

            Unlike the OP, I’m advocating for constructive criticism and pointers. That’s not pushing. That’s nudging at most.

            There’s no reason to be hostile about it.

            If you think giving helpful advice on how you can better please someone in bed, in stead of pretending that they’re already a champion, is hostile behavior, that’s a YOU problem…

            • angrystego@lemmy.world
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              21 hours ago

              Laughing at someone is hostile. Parting ways amicably is much better. I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don’t want to do in bed. Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner. People have different tastes in sexual stuff. It’s necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences. It’s ok if someone doesn’t want to do some stuff in bed.

              • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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                20 hours ago

                Laughing at someone is hostile

                As I made clear in another comment, that part was a joke. As in I didn’t mean it. I don’t endorse body shaming, even if someone’s a selfish lover lol

                Parting ways amicably is much better.

                Yeah, obviously.

                I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don’t want to do in bed

                Nobody’s suggesting that. Can we do this without the strawmen, please?

                Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner.

                Sure, but some things work for more than one person. Such as being open to suggestions of how to improve. Which needs to be a two-way street and voluntary, of course.

                People have different tastes in sexual stuff.

                You don’t say?

                It’s necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences

                Of course. That’s what I’m advocating for.

                It’s ok if someone doesn’t want to do some stuff in bed.

                Again, I never said to force anyone to do anything. I meant something along the lines of “X isn’t really working for me, could you try Y?” or “I really like X, is that something you’re into?”, NOT “do X or get out!”

        • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 day ago

          Nah, I just wanted to make sure it was obvious to others that part was a joke. I updooted you in a comment you made lower in the comments. I figured you were a person with good intent making a comment involving passion. Something I direly need to learn from. Controlling my responses hasn’t always been great. As for the Catholics, I can’t speak much of anything about them I suppose anymore. I left their following more than 20 years ago now, and I hope they grow better as I don’t think they are going to disappear any time soon. I also need to give up drinking, but for sake of words, I say let’s drink to a better future.

    • BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      Constrictive criticism

      Freudian slip? But hey if that’s what you’re into then good for you 😉

      Otherwise? Yeah, come on, don’t settle for shit sex, if you can teach your partner to be better then why not? Don’t be too afraid to say something.

      • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Freudian slip? But hey if that’s what you’re into then good for you 😉

        Actually a happy autocomplete accident, but yeah, gonna leave it as is because you made it fun 😄

        Otherwise? Yeah, come on, don’t settle for shit sex, if you can teach your partner to be better then why not? Don’t be too afraid to say something.