I’m just gonna straddle it reverse cowgirl style
Butters style.
bring a book and shove it under the lid to make it level, fuck em. i shit till my legs go numb.
Wouldn’t a couple of small blocks under the seat just fix this “problem”.
I mean I’m surprised they just don’t put those homeless spikes on the seat.
Somewhere there is a sales deck estimating ROI for uncomfortable toilets.
I have an idea: I go to a forest, I don’t care who’s claiming it, and throw wooden spears at anyone who enters.
I’d just start going to a restroom elsewhere with normal seats and take even longer breaks just to send them a message
Don’t hunch over? Stretch out! Legs and all! The easier angle will make it even better support.
Guys, guys! Take it from an American: Don’t be like us. This is some shit our employers would do.
I know our lifestyle looked fun and enviable once we grew up and left the kingdom to live on our own. And it’s not all bad, but mistakes were made!
Weeeeeeellll
I wouldn’t mind going to the bathroom and not finding all stalls occupied for the next 45 minutes because everyone and their mother is taking a shit whilst watching all three Lord of the rings movies on one go
Edit: seriously? This is being down voted? I’m all for fuck corporate and such, but seriously, I want to be able to go to a bathroom and actually find an unused stall. It sucks that everything is occupied with people watching TV there.
Gonna start selling 3d printed toilet wedges out my trunk that re-flatten the toilet seat.
A door stop, commonly found in abundance in most office spaces, sounds like a great solution already
Or just bring a shitting stool to work. Label it a shitting stool. Talk to your coworkers about your new shitting stool. Tell them about the comforts of your elevated knees and how easily your stool slides out from your briefly exposed anus. Recommend shitting stools to management. Secretly sell shitting stools under the guise of girl scout cookies. Keep the best shitting stools for yourself. Give the squeakers to management. Let them understand the shame of an office fully aware of the state of their rectum. They replace the toilets to save face. People continue using your shitting stools because they enjoy feces expediently sliding out of their rectums. You’ve won
Squatty Potty
Or just a tiny folding stool. They have more uses than one and take up less space
This was probably the last thing I posted on Facebook. Pure gold.
Stool stool.
Are you going to be giving away free stool samples?
You guys aren’t going to the narrow stalls to spiderman style crab walk up the sides to carpet bomb whatever hapless public toilet happens to be victim that day?
Wedge door stop would probably work also
Waiting for the lawsuits from people developing nerve damage and/or thrombosis
You don’t even have to wait that long. This would play hell on people with any of a myriad of conditions. They would always have to have a regular one to accommodate the disabled or face the pain of being sued for discrimination by a disabled person, and everyone would then use that normal toilet, making the whole thing a process of burning dollars to chase pennies.
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Don’t forget to make the neck rest at a 13° angle so they don’t get to comfy in there.
This should be posted in latestagecapitalism and aboringdystopia
Just shit on the walls and the company will readjust again
Don’t be an animal, just shit in the trash can in the bosses office, like a civilized person.
But seriously, this sounds like a good way to get rich. Once you “accidentally” slip off the toilet and crack your head open, then you can sue for the big bucks.
Damn, voluntarily taking on a TBI for a chance at a OSHA/Workman’s Comp lawsuit?
Make sure not to sign me up, but don’t let me get in your way.
Reminds me of the detective from the wire that “accidentally” fell down the stairs so he can retire early.
Just “slip off” and complain of back pain. Soft tissue damage does not show up on xrays.
I was thinking more like minor head wound that would bleed profusely and provide some good images. But I can see that you are the type to commit 110%, so I am sorry for the confusion.
Transparent stalls with video surveillance
“We’re a family here”
Jerk off and give them a show!
The pigs would fire you then sell the video online.
Everything you create with company resources is owned by the company.
Molotov Cocktail
Time to start crapping on the floor…
That’s a statement!
floor is now tilted by 13 degrees
you gotta really question the mental wellness of someone who starts a company to produce a product that literally makes life worse for anyone that experiences it.
I mean, I don’t take longer than a couple minutes to take a shit, but it does make it worse for those with health issues or trying to get a break with no other options
GI issues would beg to differ… a good 10 min for bad flares to ensure I’m not back in a few minutes later.
This is not a fun break time.
Can you please re read my comment, particularly the second half of the sentence
I was making the concern more explicit and personal. Not to worry.
The opinion of someone whose never had bowel problems and can’t even fathom other people not being like them.
Did you stop reading halfway through my one sentence…?
No, but I was admittedly in a very bad way the day I made that post, because some bad news I got, and I didnt realize until after the fact it was making me lash out in undeserved ways.
I say that only, and explicitly, as an explanation, and not as an excuse.
Sorry for being a twat.
