Must be so hard write comedy these days. Half the time you come up with something hilarious and someone will tell you that actually happend in real life 2 weeks ago.
Now instead of Simpsons Did It, or South Park Did It…
It’s now MAGA Did It
Okay the article is too much.
GOP candidate struggles to burn rainbow flag on top of U-Haul truck while screaming at 2 people
“It’s white boy summer!” the 30-year-old man yelled to his cameraman and some guy banging a small gong.
Jake Lang — a racist Republican candidate for Florida’s U.S. Senate seat who was jailed for allegedly assaulting Capitol Police officers during the January 6, 2021, riots — struggled to set two Pride flags on fire outside of the Delaney ICE facility in Newark, New Jersey, yesterday afternoon while yelling, “Happy Pride Month, fa**ots,” to his cameraman and one other supporter holding a gong on the sidewalk.
Lang stood on top of a U-Haul and yelled, “We will not allow this degeneracy!” as he ignited an intersex-inclusive Pride flag. The wind quickly extinguished the flames before they could seriously harm the flag.
He then struggled to re-light the flag, dousing it in lighter fluid before yelling, “These people need to go. We will overcome the homosexual agenda to destroy our children.” Meanwhile, he continued struggling to re-ignite the flag as his lighter repeatedly failed to produce a flame.
Upon finally reigniting the flag, he yelled, “Happy Pride Month, fa**ots,” as the wind quickly extinguished the flames once again.
“Get out of our country!” he yelled, holding the unlit flag. “This is a Christian country!” He soon threw away the unlit flag and unwrapped a basic rainbow Pride flag and unfurled it in the wind. Someone then laughed at him.
“Get these homos out!” he continued. “They’re the ones bringing in all the migrants!” He re-lit the flag before the wind quickly extinguished its flames once more.
Throwing the flag towards the sidewalk, he yelled, “Here you go, fa**ots — happy Pride Month!” But the video showed only two people on the sidewalk: his cameraman and one other individual (holding a handheld gong) running alongside the truck.
Lang then yelled, “Make America great again!” triumphantly raising his arms while standing on top of a U-Haul truck that costs about $30 a day to rent. Someone off-camera yelled, “F**k you,” in response.
He unfurled a banner off the back of the truck that said, “Save America. Deport 100+ Million.” He then jumped off the front of the truck and yelled into the camera, “America, we are so f**king back!” while a long-haired white man in a black bowler hat repeatedly banged a small hand-held gong.
Lang entered the cabin of the truck and used a megaphone to say, >“Traitors of the Deep State will see the gallows. You will hang traitors. Our country is worth fighting for. We will stand united. This is a Christian country. They have stolen the rainbow from God, and we’re here to take it back. It’s white boy summer!”
Lang is 30 years old.
He’s like a fascist MAGA furby.
This reads like a comedy bit. Our most brilliant minds couldn’t come up with this level of incompetence.
It reads just like an I Think You Should Leave skit
…Why does it read like an Eric Andre skit…?
Traitors of the Deep State will see the gallows. You will hang traitors. Our country is worth fighting for. We will stand united. This is a Christian country. They have stolen the rainbow from God, and we’re here to take it back.
So first of all, they’ve stopped pretending that the “deep state” is something they’re concerned about or fighting, but rather something they’re actively attempting to establish.
Second of all, stealing the rainbow from God is so unfathomably badass. We’re in our Prometheus era now.
Now I wish I was gayer
Just do what makes you happy, then you can say you’re feeling gay, by the old definition.
Imagine the stiff, thick shaft pushing into your mouth and pressing on your lips and tongue. Feel the firm plushness of the head against the top of your mouth, the back of your tongue, and back of your throat, as it pulses and swells from the pleasure of your mouth. You smell the radiant hot sex, emanating from the pelvis pressed to your face, and you look up to see eyes, eagerly watching you just as you feel it press itself past the back of your throat. You choke a little and can no longer breathe. You shut your eyes as they begin to water. The burning hot cock, lodged in your throat smells musty and rich, exactly how you remember, as soft and cool balls graze your chin. You feel yourself throb and leak in response, the pressure building, and you could almost cum just from what’s happening right now, your mind only imagining one thing, excitement building, and shuddering, and groaning, and bursting, releasing down your throat.
*Hometheus
Wometheus
He’s definitely saying they are the deep state.
I parse that sentence as
Traitors (traitors to Trump/MAGA/…) of the Deep State (who belong to/are part of/work for the Deep State) will see the gallows.
But then again … I think your interpretation is equally plausible.
We will overcome the homosexual agenda to destroy our children.
Hi, heterosexual white male here. I too want to destroy your chances of having children. If you already have children, I want to take them away from you, and put them in the hands of a gay couple wanting to adopt.
Just to be clear, that quote is from Jake Lang, and thus that’s who I’m directing my comments towards.
And as a homosexual, I just want the queer kids to get to grow up, and ideally to not be entirely traumatized by the process. Aside from that my main concerns with kids and queerness is that good parents who happen to be queer get to be parents without harassment.
And yeah, by no means should that man be allowed near children
I wonder if U-Haul will give him their usual extreme bill for damage to the vehicle he inevitably did by walking on it ?
I wish there was video of this from 50 feet away to just show how ridiculously embarrassing it is.
This is a grown ass man too
This is a grown ass man too
I mean, that’s kinda arguable. Emotionally he’s maybe 13.
hes a grown ass-man not a grown-ass man
Grown, but not matured.
Since I’ve had a kid of my own I’m quickly come to realize that a lot of the “adults” I encounter literally just never learned how some basic lessons on how to act in a group. It’s become painfully obvious spending all day with a toddler and then seeing literally the same behavior in adults.
Like, my toddler has a lot of the same level of emotional skills as adults but just expresses them in a more extreme way.
Like, an 8 year old that wines and has a tantrum like a toddler is going to quickly learn that no other kids want to be around them. Did we lose this socializing part of growing up at some point? Do those kids just have other forms of socializing online so they never learn how to act in a real life group?
I’m sure this is true for any generation to a degree. But, I can’t help but think Ipad childhoods have created a generation of adults that never had to learn simple traits like sharing or working in a group. Instead of feeling bored and isolated for their bad behavior in a group. They have constant access to a stimulant while isolated.
A lot of these “adults” find their social connections through other “adults” that also just act shitty to other people. There only way of finding community is finding others that are also garbage hateful people.
I really think we need “reeducation camps” for these adults. Like, I don’t know what else to do with people like the ones in the article. These aren’t people that can function in a healthy society. The issue is that they are functioning perfectly well from their perspective. And I think that is really a testament to how incredibly sick and broken our society is.
That’s why he was in prison before the orange man child pardoned them.
But, I can’t help but think Ipad childhoods have created a generation of adults that never had to learn simple traits like sharing or working in a group.
I’d also like to point out, the first iPad came out in 2010. This guy would have been 20 years old at the time.Edit: As pointed out, I can’t do math half-asleep. He would have been 14, still too old to be an ipad kid.
(1) My comment wasn’t specifically about the person in the article.
(2) I’m using “iPad kid” in the colloquial sense. It’s not literally about when the iPad was released. There are plenty of Internet based media consumption products that were portable long before 2010.
It’s to mean growing up in the age of a media environment that profits specifically on keeping a child’s attention and parents that are exhausted from overwork using it as a means of calming them.
This has been true for all kids to some extent since the birth year of 2000. It’s not all kids. It’s not all parents. It’s different levels of intensity and at different ages of development. But, my point is around the general trend of more young adults that are experiencing less organic real world socialization.
It is the increased commodification of childhood. It is not unique to this generation but is growing significantly more intense. But, just as more of our adult lives are built into commodities (dating apps) so too are the lives of children. And one thing that is really easy to get from children is their addiction to watching media.
He’s 30, he would have been 14-15 at the time. But yeah, he’s definitely old enough that rather than blaming the iPad I’m more prone to blaming the alt right pipeline that specifically targeted teenage boys in his age bracket as they were coming into maturity.
The internet created an alternate reality where people who behaved badly were able to recruit those who were badly behaved allowing them no never have to learn. It also made jumping between communities easy and removed long term face to face interaction from being the only real form of interaction and expression.
This fracturing of society is a mixed bag imo, it did a lot of bad like this, and I’ll say that it’s a far more likely general complaint than the constant stimulation the other person blames. But on the other hand I can’t hate it entirely as for a queer kid in the suburbs it made finding myself and understanding myself and finding community so much motr accessible.
Your right, I was half asleep when I made the comment about the ipad.
It’s cool, I totally get the thought process and too often also comment while half asleep
Based wind.
The elements are woke!
Also, Jake Lang is a loser. I can’t believe he’s still wearing that fake-ass flak jacket without the sappies.
“Save America. Deport 100+ Million.”
Important to note that this is ~1/3 of the US population, while ~90% of the US population are American citizens, 85% of the population natural-born citizens.
People calling for massive deportations like this are absolutely calling for ‘deporting’ natural born US citizens.
Horrible fact: the number they call for almost exactly matches the number of nonwhite people in the US, including indigenous peoples.
This is literally calling for an ethnostate, and should be treated that way.
That’s some industrial strength stupid.
“Save America. Deport 100+ Million.”
That’s nearly 1 in 3 people. That would do the very opposite of “save” america.
Yeah, firstly, nobody’s taking that many, I’d be death camps. Secondly, that’s no more supply chains level bad. And he clearly wants it to be the non white people so the missing workers are going to be disproportionately hard manual laborers, particularly those working in the food supply and construction. You don’t want to be one of the people left here.
Didn’t watch the video yet, but but my closeted gaydar is making loud noises already
I’m weird, this is a whole other thing.
It’s sad.
Like we have a subset of the population that’s been conditioned, hoodwinked, or otherwise convinced into vehemently hating people at the behest of the epstien-class.
And there is literally no simply solution to this problem.
There’s the type of weird that embraces their uniqueness. They wear it as a badge of honor, or even part of their identity.
Then there’s the type of weird that doesn’t want to be weird. They spend their whole lives wanting to be normal, and they take it as an insult.
Be the former.
Well put.
It’s kinda sad, you think about it. Like a big chunk of the maga movement itself is just confused lonely guys who want to belong to something, to be invisible in a crowd.
Being weird is what they’ve been escaping their whole life. They want to be normal, which they don’t understand is impossible to attain, specifically because we are all so wild and diverse. They don’t realize that “normal” is only defined by the people who believe themselves to be normal. It’s a social construct, and if you want to get real philosophical, probably a more worthless one than gender itself.
To be a part of a group that is able to brand someone else as weird? To be the ones defining normal? Dream come true.
What a sad, miserable experience. Honestly, dropping that and wanting to not be normal…to accept being yourself…your true self… is probably one of the most liberating things we can experience in this life. But that need to conform…that longing for acceptance… is just so ingrained.
Me, too, but I’m willing to let that go if it helps them stop whatever you call what they’re doing.
They are so fucking weird.
And closeted.
And also pedophiles, or pedo protectors.
are those these self proclaimed “alphas”? seem more like teenage rowdies with too much self hate.
The poor projecting bastard - so sad that he can’t look in the mirror, see that haircut and those shorts and not be honest and open with his own self about absolutely loving cock.
Its just something guys do together in locker rooms. Its not gay.
It’s only gay if you do it more that 47 times.
In a month or…
What a fruit cake.
Yeah, I’m taking that one back. This guy is a fuckin dandelion.
But dandelions make delicious jelly that tastes like honey.
Let’s make him something worse. Giant hogweed - invasive species that gives you skin burns and possible blindness if you end up touching your eyes with the oils. Seems suitable?
Yeah, let’s also keep calling them chuds
Stinging bush, just one touch and you have to deal with the pain for years.
Dandelions are at least pretty to look at.
This guy looks like a fart.
Nah, that won’t work. You’re in our headspace, saying something objectionable to us. You need to use words that are objectionable in their social constructs. That’s why weird cut them.
Dandelion is also very tasty!
Why doesn’t he know how to wear a plate carrier?
I caught that too. “Flarper, noun. Fascist larper”
I guarantee you there’s no plate in it, for a start. It’d be too heavy for him. And probably too expensive, too.
Please don’t help him
What a sad, strange little man.
weird indeed
lmfao at the fact that no one seems to like this guy
10 people on his protest’s side, 100 counter-protesters
plate carrier… shorts?
Copying Junior’s look from Reno 911.
He’s just new boots goofing.
Junior plus Dangle.
Flag burning is okay again? Or just for them?
Just for them. Everything is just for them. We’ve at least learned that one thing by now, haven’t we?
Here’s the thinking:
- Republicans are doing God’s Will™
- God always wills what is right
- Ergo everything is okay for Republicans
He’s a gay comic right?? He barely burns two pride flags, polyester 😂. He’s a spitting image of Nick Fuentes too.
If he’s trying this hard to show he’s not gay…
