But why lesbian though? Shouldn’t she just fuck twinks and make them straight
It’s anachronistic that this is still a part of it, but womanizing is integral to bond- Daniel Craig pulled it off without the chauvinism from earlier Bonds, but still seduces women like nobody’s business. A woman turning twinks is a different kind of problematic, and is not really identifiable for the core audience of Bond fans.
Straight men can identify with at least one party in the situations of someone relentlessly seducing women or a woman relentlessly seducing straight men. I could see the latter working on that level, but there’s a lot of cultural baggage that comes with a woman pursuing sex with men, and that might distract from the rest of the movie. We can only get rid of barriers by breaking them down, but I don’t know if it would be as commercially successful :|
not really identifiable for the core audience of Bond fans
Ahhh… I forgot the part where we’ve stopped talking about weirdness for the sake of weirdness and started talking about profits.
Oh, I mean, yeah, if we’re just talking about what would be fun, I’d honestly prefer if she were incredibly attractive inadvertently and Mr. Magoo seduced a bunch of all kinds of people without intending to or noticing. I do think the idea in the post would actually be makeable though, and I think that would be lost without womanizing.
Lmaoooo
I hate you and wish you had left the internet today
The world is ready for a Bond Girl who is a beautiful twink.
I’d totally watch this in theaters. Also hot. But also fuck vodka martinis. Toxic lesbian James bond would drink pure gin, call it a martini and the only thing she’s eaten that day is about 30 olives and some pussy. She may have some olive juice in her gin solely to make a pass at the bartender by calling it dirty.
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Because Paula, Petra?
Or a gay James Bond man who sleeps with all the other men.
“Do you expect me to talk?”
“No Mr Bond. I expect you to cum!”
Or an ace James Bond who isn’t distracted by tits and dicks and just does his fucking job. Still a raging alcoholic because ace tho.
You must be talking about the Sean Connery inspired character in The Venture Bros
Including the villains, with equally cheesy name-based gags.
“I see they don’t call you ‘blo’-feld for nothing ;)”
Screw that, make Modesty Blaise
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Is her own character, so wouldn’t get labeled “the female James Bond.”
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Has a cooler back story than James Bond
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Has a cool cast of supporting characters
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Is canonically awesome at martial arts, but will use guns when pressed
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Already has a bunch of books and comics to use as source material
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Has at least as many sexual adventures as Bond
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Has a long-time male partner with whom she is emphatically not in a romantic relationship or a Will-they-won’t-they situation
This why not make new franchises instead of gender sealing a character. There are so many stories out there why tell he same ones just gender or race swapped. Tell new ones that feature the gender or race you want.
It makes chuds annoyed. And that’s about as good a reason to do anything! I’m all for race and gender-swapped Bond!
The reason why the industry regurgitates IP is because the general public and the industry are lazy as fuck.
You could make a brand new super hero but it won’t be as popular as retelling the Batman origin story for the 30th time.
Same goes for James Bond. I personally think if they want to continue that universe, and introduce a female spy as lead. Just create a new character, give her the number 005, and make the damn movie. I don’t want a 007 Jane Bond but I’m down with a 005 Jane Smithe. Retrofit some shit about James training her before he died. Put Craig in flashbacks or something, and go from there. Hell, you could even make it Moneypenny. In the universe they had a working relationship, she worked in the field with Bond in the previous movies, and maybe she is promoted to 005 after he died. The first movie could be her transition to spydom, learning the ropes, getting promoted, and stumbling into some super villain storyline - which isn’t fully resolved at the end for the next movie. I’d totally watch Naomie Harris as 005 kicking ass and taking names.
Of course you know that won’t happen. They’ll do the bullshit they did in No Time to Die.
Why does she look like Ghislaine Maxwell?
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I want to see a female Duke Nukem.
Perfect!
… who is all out of bubblegum?
I just want her to give dollar bills to male strippers with tassles on their nipples, saying “You wanna dance?”
Lmao do it!
They did that. it was called Bombshell.
“Yeah we made the same shitty movie, but listen me now… Now the chArActER IZ A WoMEn!! Plz watch!!”
Cara Delevingne would nail this role. Or Kristen Stewart
or Katy O’Brian, she’s a lesbian and knows martial arts.
For me is either Cara or Florence Pugh
At first I was like “no” then I got to the second paragraph. I’d watch this for sure.
This post reminded me of this music video
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x38mlpu
The prodigy - smack my bitch up
Wow. I know the song so very well and never seen the video until now.
Hollywood hasn’t had a fresh idea since 1913. It’s all retread ideas.
So I say push the Black Widow. The character is already its own thing. Smart, skilled, powerful. The lesbian angle is good. Womanizing sells in Hollywood heros. Maybe have her fight an evil gang of TERFs or something.
Now, Euronews Culture can officially end all speculation by revealing that the identity of the new James Bond is… Irish actress and singer Jessie Buckley.
You read correctly: James Bond will be played by a woman for the first time, in the wake of Lashana Lynch briefly taking over the 007 mantle in Daniel Craig’s Bond swansong, 2021’s No Time To Die.
Buckley rose to fame following her role as Rose-Lynn Harlan in Tom Harper’s Wild Rose (2018). The 36-year-old followed that critically acclaimed turn with I’m Thinking of Ending Things, The Lost Daughter, Men and The Bride!, before taking home the Oscar for Best Actress this year for her performance in Chloé Zhao’s Hamnet.
She therefore becomes the first Oscar-winning performer to be cast as Bond.
More casting news was also revealed, with Tom Hiddleston playing the franchise’s first Bond boy - named Fitty McCrotch – and the new M is set to be portrayed by none other than Gillian Anderson. Both frankly inspired choices.
Thanks for reposting April’s fools
I was born for this role
We could also do all of that in an original IP. Why does it always has to be a reboot or a sequel or a remake or any other regurgitation
There is political strength in doing it like the last line said and using the established franchise.
Getting two groups of people who’s whole identity is yelling at each other to yell about a specific thing for a couple of weeks isn’t really all that impactful.
“But why subvert when you could merely amuse?”
I was raised to believe that there are no stupid questions, so I am choosing to regard this as a non-query.
Did you read the last line?
The bond series is the one series that can just be endlessly rebooted.
Most stories have an ending, coming back doesn’t make sense. I’m not even a fan, but bond is forever.
And please let her be played by Charlize Theron.
