Prime example of terrible parenting. Still not a meme
Every time someone complains something is “not a meme” I create one additional alt account with which I then subsequently upvote all the posts with.
My mom regularly got after me to make my bed. I never saw the point. I’m wasting my time to make it look neat… for no one, only for me to mess it up the following night. I didn’t see the point then, I don’t see the point now.
So my solution to not getting yelled at. I stopped sleeping under the covers. I just slept on top. For a while, she thought I was making my bed, but eventually I wore out a spot on the top of the comforter. That’s when she figured it out. Then she was made I wasn’t using the blankets for their intended use (to keep someone warm). I as a child, would rather freeze than make the damn bed.
Neat freaks will hate this, but it can be healthier to not make your bed because then the sheets get more of a chance to dry out if you’ve been sweating in them all night. If they don’t dry out, bacteria can thrive.
Getting a separate blanket to sleep under and hiding it under the bed when you’re not using it would have been helpful.
I also don’t see the point in making the bed. Thankfully, my parents didn’t force me to do it.
My mom always got upset when my brother and I fought. “Take it outside!” she would say. One day, as we started to fight, my brother reminded me what she said. So, we calmly walked to the front yard, then we went at it.
Somehow it still didn’t make her happy.
Grade A little kid thinking
Kids really hear “sleep outside” and immediately choose full survival mode instead of picking up socks.
My mom once got so upset at me and my brothers not cleaning our rooms, that she spent the school day taking all of our toys, putting them in trash bags, and leaving them in the back yard.
Parents - don’t do that. It’s traumatizing. I still have massive issues with people touching my things, and I’m in my 30s.
It also did nothing to help me clean my room, as you can’t punish someone out of having ADHD. Specific guidance could’ve helped me, as I was never taught how to organize things. Instead, I was expected to just figure it out somehow and got in trouble for failing to do so.
This is why i put away the husbands socks and underpants, arranged in a FIFO system but still arranged so he can see and pick out a specific pair he’s vibing for and not wear the same pair over and over because they’re top of the pile and wear them out.
Tshirts and pants are folded, but his business.
you can’t punish someone out of having ADHD
I just want to say that, not only does this resonate with me, but it’s one of those things that you’ll never un-think or un-see. I have a lot to reflect on, as this simple insight will help me tremendously. Thanks.
My mum didn’t do anything as bad as that, but your comment made me reflect and realise that there weren’t really any instances I can recall of my mum sitting down to help me tidy up my room. I’d just end up shoving everything under my bed when it came time for the weekly check for our pocket money and then doing a massive organise every few months or so (but it would never stay tidy for long.
What’s especially interesting was that I was quite enthusiastic about tidying and cleaning other parts of the house; we could do extra chores for extra pocket money. I wonder whether my attitude towards cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen was different to my room because I had to be shown how to do these tasks, as opposed to being left to my own devices with my bedroom
Lol I literally did this once, except I was supposed to clean the yard. Being the seasoned boy scout I was, I built a shelter out of the stuff I was supposed to put away. Transformed that yard from a dump to a slum.
Congratulations. You froze my brain
Can confirm: my youngest son would most definitely do this.
This is how you trick your kid into digging a hole in the yard.
My ADHD agrees that this is definitely the easier task.
Rather, the more interesting thing to do and therefore what my body will now do, without me having any control to stop it
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Novel
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Interesting
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Challenging
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Urgent
A hierarchy of executive dysfunction
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I’m a grown adult and currently buzzing with so much energy I might do this tonight to burn off some energy…
i’m a grilown adult and am currently out of energy. do you want to come over and dig some holes? i wanted to plant some things.
No one likes a bragger. 😤
Yeah I had more than one outside sleeping set up, but mine were to avoid abuse by not existing at home after my dad came home from work. Got me out of more than one beating I’m sure, and only slightly less comfortable than sleeping under my bed or in the closet.
im sorry that happened to you. how are you dealing with that now
I have a nice anti-anxiety med and spend time with male friends who are good dads to overwrite the bad lessons. Gives me hope that not all kids live in terror of their own fathers.
Re-parenting yourself “through friendship and fatherhood by proxy” has to be one of the most brilliant ways I’ve heard of doing that. This has to be miles easier than doing this solo. Nicely done!
thats great to hear.
That’s why you should be honest with your children
I wish I was that brave and stubborn as a child. Threatening to kick me outside or take me to the bad parts of town was one of my parents favorite fear tactics. And it worked.
I was once thrown out of class. I decided to take it literally and went outside and swinged away to my fullest. After some time it got lonely and I went back to the class. I think it was best for us all.
I wasn’t exactly brave or stubborn, I was vindictive. Once my mother got mad at me and took away my computer. I in turn took the main power breaker from the house.
Another time she got mad at me and took my car keys… I set an alarm for 3am, went outside and took her car battery. Now I know what you’re thinking “she has your keys, she’ll just use your car”, I also took my car battery. Both were carried about 1/4 mile into the woods that surrounded our home. Next day she tried to leave for work about the same time I had to start walking to the bus stop for school. Yeah… She was not happy but I got my car keys back!
If I were her, I would’ve sent your ass to one of those fucked up boys boot camps/living facilities in Wyoming/utah.
Were you abused or just a spoiled shit?
Yeah where I grew up if a kid did that, they’d be kicked out. If old enough to have a car, old enough to live on their own.
Mostly just spoiled and egotistical…
Yeah my country has these pre army training camps, basically schools but they drill discipline into your head, they’re popular if you are expected to join army. But I’d send my kid just to get the spoiled shut out of him.
Maybe start by being a better parent then, you won’t have to worry about it.
I am not worried about it. But I was the kid that needed discipline in life.
My kids know their limits. I parent by not being an authority figure but my being a good role model. Any time my kids are grounded. We talk a lot about why and what they could have done to avoid being grounded. Hell a couple of times my kids have argued their way out of being grounded by making me see that my punishment was more than what was required.
That being said, there is no shame in admitting when you’ve fucked up parenting and taking steps to correct it.
I was vindictive to my parents at around 12. When my parents took compute power cable because I was playing 20 hours a day. I got so mad and my AOL toxic fucking circle encouraged that behaviour. I took fuses for the entire house. That’s when I was sent to pre-army school. Hell I had accepted my parents were villains but 3 years in the boot camp like school and a couple of years of therapy made me realise, fault lied with me and not the world.
Could they have done more early to make sure situation didn’t go so far I hid house fuse? Maybe. But they were trying. I would pretend to fall asleep, just till my parents would go to bed. I’d get up, cover the gaps in the door with blankets, and went out of my way to avoid being detected. I just fell into the toxic internet culture before my parents even knew the dangers of being online and echo chambers and all.
Had they not intervened, I would have stepped into adulthood with the toxicity.
I’m not saying every kid deserves such intervention. But comment OP taking batteries reminded me of me taking the fuse. The ‘if I lose we all lose’ narcissistic behaviour I had. It wouldn’t have been corrected without a strong intervention.
P.S. My dad had to do a year therapy of his own, because he felt so guilt of sending me away.
Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.
“Boys will be boys” is such a harmful phrase
KIDDOS used LOGIC! It’s super effective!
@SpaceFacts what is, “threatening with a good time”
