Few months ago, during the season when the baby seagulls were finally coming down to ground level and starting to move around on their own, I took a bicycle ride. Then I came back from my ride, left my bike in the building’s parking lot, grabbed a bunch of tools from my apartment, and went back to my bike to do some maintenance on it.
The entire time I worked on the bike, I was harassed by three barely-not-a-baby-anymore seagulls who thought the parking lot belonged to them. It was the same gang of dumb birds who’d charged my car a few times while I was driving in and out. Pretty sure they shat on it a lot too. Anyway, while I was doing the bike maintenance thing, one of them stood right next to me and yelled at the top of its dumb lungs with its dumb wings spread out to intimidate me I suppose. Another one ran laps around me and my bike, also yelling. The other one didn’t yell as much, but it tried to run at me and slap me with its dumb wings. People passing by watched me yell “fuck away from me dude” and flap my oil-stained rags at a bunch of angry baby seagulls for like 20 minutes while intermittently sitting down to clean the chain or whatever. I am aware it looked pretty stupid but I am not surrendering my parking lot to a bunch of dumb seagulls who are just shedding their dumb baby feathers. I cleaned the sprockets, oiled the chain, and adjusted the gear cables right where I always do it. Mama didn’t raise no bitch.
Anyway, that’s the story. And the moral is, yes seagulls are dumb.
Lol that was a lovely mental image, thank you. You’re a good writer!
Most of them only live 10 to 20 in the wild.
But we all know if pigeons could live this long, we wouldn’t need an ornithologist to tell us they’re dumb LOL. They can live up to 15 years in captivity with someone taking care of them. If they’re on their own, the dumb fucks often don’t make it to 5.
I’m dumb and I remember the 90s. Explain that, bird-science man.
U no dum. U yuse big word. U sus
Does this animal look dumb to you? Or smart enough to achieve maximum efficiency?
What are the odds of capturing a photo or video like this? Also, has me wondering if its not just Photoshop.
This instance at least is not tampered with. It’s a screenshot of a video: https://imgur.com/gallery/seagull-rides-seagull-T9vAQl3
do all beach communities look like that or is that santa cruz
♩♪♫♬ A whole new world A new fantastic point of view No one to tell us, “No” Or where to go Or say we’re only dreaming
A whole new world A dazzling place I never knew But when I’m way up here It’s crystal clear, ♩♪♫♬
Best Disney song and movie. Holds up so well.
Considering seagulls are often seen in swarms, I’d say it’s more probable than it might seem.
HEY CARL GO RIGHT I WANNA POOP ON THAT ONE AFTER I STEAL HIS SAMMICH
you hear it too right
I never understood it when people say “you look like your name would be Richard.” But now I finally get it.
That bird looks like a Carl.
I’m sure Seagull memories of the ‘90’s might be that one time they swiped a whole hotdog from a tourist and no other bird stole it from them, or maybe when mom-bird horked up whatever half-digested gruel that made a meal to a baby in the nest.
Maybe they’d remember pop rocks or fruit by the foot or some of those candy bracelets
Being dumb and remembering the '90s aren’t mutually exclusive.
I’m a living example.
30s and cant remember shit due, in part, to being excessively dumb?
Relatable
90 wild. They used to Skateboard and Shoplift. Some of them still Shoplift, there are Videos in that Internet.
Maybe even as far back as the 80’s!!
Argh! Beat me to it. Here’s a bonus pic.
Pictured: from left to right, Alan Tudyk, Kate McKinnon, Fred Armisen, and Piers Morgan.
Well, that’s it for casting. Documentary coming summer of 2028.
The bald guy really missed out on the hair play
The guy in pink looks like a majestic seagull.
He did a bad job of copying the misfits bangs
Probably phones and social media that made them dumb smh.
I’d be pretty surprised if their perspective could be anyhow relevant to us, besides climate change, oil spillings and rise and fall of fishing, shipment businesses. A talking seagull would probably look at everything we say like we are some cryptobro 4channers obsessing over deeply unserious and niche stuff. Catherine tornado murdering the coast? Yeah, now we talk business. The fall of the market in 2008? That’s some fake inlanders’ shit I can’t care about.
Would a talking seagull say anything besides “mine”?
In spite of questionable but regularly cited source Finding Nemo (2003), I find it’s faulty to assume we can predict what a seagul can say if it can talk in our language whithout having any reference material in reality. But if I may have some horses in this race, and I don’t, I believe they (a) wan’t blame humans for what we did to their wellbeing for it’s not an obvious enough connection to make judging by their limited perspective, but (b) they’d sure vocally reflect on modern problems they encounter, like having infrequent and decreasing game in the waters, calling us stupid big featherless fucks not worthy shitting on either way because it is simple enough to conclude that this and our overwhelming presence in their ecosystem are somehow connected.
Cuz they’re capitalists.
(Please clap.)
If you remember the XX’s, you werent really there
You know there’s gotta be a few left that were really into gangsta rap.
A whole flock of them remembers the 80s though
hello fellow old
Wow, so they forgot about Dre?
