For those out of the loop, WomensStuff has a women-only rule, where men are respectfully asked to not reply to posts.
Blocked that comm, just so I wouldn’t accidentally violate that rule. No sense in getting emotionally invested in a post I’m not allowed to discuss.
Right? Pretty easy solution.
I wouldn’t have commented except they made the main feed. I wasn’t given a warning I was just banned. That is why I’m pretty sure OP here is lying about what happened. I’m fine with them having their own thing but I don’t have feel bad about their agnst. I didn’t cause it so I am in no way responsible for their innate hostility.
Had they given me a warning and explained the situation I would have been more than happy to delete the comment and block their echo chamber. Which I did anyway.
I once commented on a pancake recipe post. The recipes they posted were weak but I deleted mine when I learned about the rule. It felt very much like the image here lol. Oh well
I’ll try to explain why women want and need a women only space here.
It is actually quite easy and has mostly to do with how many men there are on Lemmy compared to women.
Let’s say I post a question on WomensStuff. I might get 10 answers from women and one answer from a very nice and respectful men. So, no harm was done, right?
Well if you allow everybody to participate you will quickly get a lot of “not a woman, but …” type of answers. The 10 original comments made by the demographic that was actually targeted will be quickly drowned out.
This is how every post is on here. That is just how it is but that’s ok. What we want is just one small part of Lemmy where we can talk among ourselves without being overshadowed. Just accept that because our lovely mods will not back down.
If you’re tired of seeing our posts, no worries! Just block the community or ask to be banned. No harm will be done and we can continue with our nice supportive community.
Not a woman but- No that actually makes a lot of sense :)
I really appreciate reading those posts, but I have mistakenly replied and had to preemptively delete my post several times now. I wouldn’t mind a ban that would allow me to read without making that mistake again.
Everyone knows creating segregated groups ends well
You’re being obtuse. Separate men’s and women’s clubs work just fine IRL. Sports, social, and charity are just a few examples in my local community which are thriving.
Lemmy is like a house party, where everybody has the freedom to talk to whomever they so choose, thus creating segregated groups. If one butts in to a conversation, the participants are free to ask one not to participate, and are free to walk away if one insists. (In this metaphor, the WomensStuff community doesn’t even mind if you listen in.) For a house party, though, the host is well within their rights to not invite anybody, or even ask guests to leave. That’s a very strictly segregated group.
What’s been the ripple of evil from allowing house parties, or companies to pay only a select group of employees, private clubs, family dinners et cetera? Has the existence of the chain of women’s-only gyms destroyed men’s lives?
If you take that away after reading my comment I cannot help you. WomensStuff is ONE community out of hundreds, just block it and move on with your life.
I like to read WomenStuff because It helps me to understand the concerns of people who are different from myself, and knowing the rules; I don’t mind not posting because that’s the rule. So get on wit yo bad self, WomenStuff.
There’s a lot of value in new perspectives. I’m glad its not set to private… but based on this thread, I’m sure the mods have their work cut out.
Hell yeah! That’s exactly the spirit of this post.
Apparently, a lot more men need to learn this.
I don’t like there being forums set to ‘public’ on open platforms that then say if you aren’t in a specific demographic then you aren’t allowed to comment. If you don’t want everyone to comment then set your forum to private so it doesn’t show up in everyone’s feed. Yes, you’ll have fewer people there, but they will be only the people you want.
Setting a group to public, and then telling the general public that it’s actually private, is simply incorrect, and a recipe for a muddled antagonistic mess.
It’s an extremely simple request that literally requires zero work to honor. There is no downside. Keeping it open and easy to find means higher engagement for the community and greater visibility on a safe, inclusive space for women. Feels like an easy w to me.
Conflicted.
On one hand, their playground, their rules.
On other, if you don’t want to interact with half of community, why not just, dunno…limit visibility? Make it actual safe space?
I am good with anything and do respect their choice, just it’s fun to think about.
if you don’t want to interact with half of community, why not just, dunno…limit visibility?
It’s not on the community to make it harder for their target audience to find them. It’s on people who scroll the All feed to leave posts alone that don’t concern them.
The rules are not displayed in the All feed. Some specific communities are still welcoming of people who are not the topic being discussed.
When you click a post, the rules might be hidden or at the bottom of the page. Do you take the effort to read all of the rules before posting in every community on the All feed?
Do you take the time before voting, since some communities have banned down voting?
When you click a post, the rules might be hidden or at the bottom of the page.
It’s literally the topmost rule of the sidebar. If your client doesn’t display the sidebar properly, that’s on you and your choice of client. Default lemmy-ui displays it just fine.
I guess you haven’t ever used lemmy on a phone or in a narrow window on PC where it is hidden until you click a button to show the sidebar?
I squished it to about a third of my desktop to make it switch from side to button. It is a button on mobile for me both in portrait and landscape.
Plus if you click on the comments indicator it scrolls down to the top comment underneath the button, so you have to scroll up to click it to expand.
I’m just saying it isn’t always directly in the user’s face when they interact with a post and expecting everyone to double check the rules every comment is a bit silly of an expectation.
I guess you haven’t ever used lemmy on a phone or in a narrow window on PC where it is hidden until you click a button to show the sidebar?
I’m grown up enough to just use the Subscribed feed, so I don’t even get posts not targeted at me, and I also am fully able to look up the rules from mobile devices. If that’s such a hassle for you, you’re unsuited for federated platforms where you have to accept to encounter a plethora of rules and posts not targeted at you.
If the post is in all it’s in the public forum You don’t get to have your safe space in the public forum. If you say something in public then be prepared. If you want to reach the public because of higher traffic does not mean you can tell people not to respond. I know that people will argue that it’s not fair but it gives off sealioning, im not touching you vibes.
I don’t see a problem with being public and having limiting rules - it’s perfectly fine for women or minority groups to have their own spaces - but never before have I seen such an odd approach to moderating. I too tumbled on one of their threads from ALL and it felt like at least third of the comments there was responded with, paraphrasing, “please never post again”. If every discussion reaching ALL gets like that, I’d imagine it would be easier to figure out some other solution, since it takes such insane amount of effort to go through so many comments and probably profiles and posting history to know who to reply that to, from moderating perspective. Or are they just saying that to everyone? Or everyone not subbed?? I doubt that many people getting answered with “please never post again” would want to join even if they did qualify…
It’s just… I don’t understand the logistics of all that
It is a request in the sidebar/bottom of the page that barely anyone looks at because the vast, vast majority of community rules boil down to ‘don’t be an ass and no porn’.
I’m not opposed to community rules or anything, but saying it requires zero work is wrong because one has to intentionally take the time to check out and remember the rules or voluntarily block to avoid accidentally breaking the rules. It isn’t a lot of work, but it is certainly more than zero.
I blocked to avoid intruding, because of my inability to keep track of community specific rules, so I hope it is successful and supportive as intended. If there was an option to set communities to read only like they are when banned that would be a neat feature.
Every post I’ve seen has a disclaimer on it. Maybe that’s just certain posters who include the disclaimer in the post, though.
But when I say zero effort, I mean literally it takes zero effort to respect the rule once you’re aware of it.
Remembering all the rules of a massive number of communities takes effort.
And yet, you manage to live in society.
Yes, and trying to remember all of those rules also takes more than zero effort. I regularly forget those rules too!
It’s ok, I like having you around, @spankmonkey. Cheers!
It is a request in the sidebar/bottom of the page
It’s a pinned post:
Which doesn’t appear in anyone’s feed, you only see that when you specifically go to that community’s page. Which is yet another clear factor in why it should be set to private instead of public
Which doesn’t appear in anyone’s feed, you only see that when you specifically go to that community’s page. Which is yet another clear factor in why it should be set to private instead of public
If Fedia has a broken GUI, that’s not their responsibility. It’s the responsibility of All feed users not to badly interact with random posts.
I take issue with you defining “being a non-woman and commenting” as “badly interacting.”
No, if you don’t like how a platform works, then that’s the wrong platform for you to use.
When I click on a post out of the All or Subscribed feed I don’t go to the main community page.
When I click on a post out of the All or Subscribed feed I don’t go to the main community page.
It’s literally the topmost rule of the sidebar. If your client doesn’t display the sidebar properly, that’s on you and your choice of client. Default lemmy-ui displays it just fine.
Not on mobile
It’s an extremely simple request that literally requires zero work to honor.
It literally requires every single person currently on the fediverse to actively block it. And it requires every single new person that arrives in the fediverse to learn about this group, learn about their rule, learn how to block a group, and then go ahead and block it. Everyone who comes here has to do that, for every single new user that joins the fediverse. Forever.
There is no downside.
There are tons of downsides. All the previously mentioned work, plus all the people who post there and then get reprimanded for it, which causes unpleasant feelings, making people feel excluded from the public space of the fediverse that we want people to feel welcome at, etc i really could keep listing more downsides.
Keeping it open and easy to find means higher engagement for the community and greater visibility on a safe, inclusive space for women.
No, it’s the opposite of that. Keeping it open to people who actually aren’t supposed to engage with the content means it’s always going to be a muddled antagonistic mess.
Feels like an easy w to me.
Feels like an unforced loss for everyone to me.
It literally requires every single person currently on the fediverse to actively block it. And it requires every single new person that arrives in the fediverse to learn about this group, learn about their rule, learn how to block a group, and then go ahead and block it. Everyone who comes here has to do that, for every single new user that joins the fediverse. Forever.
The community only excludes men from participating
Seriously, that’s your retort? Ok fine, I’ll rephrase.
It literally requires about half of every single person currently on the fediverse to actively block it. And it requires about half of every single new person that arrives in the fediverse to learn about this group, learn about their rule, learn how to block a group, and then go ahead and block it. About half of everyone who comes here has to do that, for about half of every single new user that joins the fediverse. Forever.
And let’s be honest male users are way more than half
So not everyone, just half of everyone. Assuming only half of users are men.
Bro is absolutely sick to his stomach and vomiting that this one community isn’t specifically designed for him and that people might have to * gulp * read the sidebar.
I couldn’t be more clear in my reasoning. If you don’t want to read and reply to what I actually said, then you are the problem.
I’ve never seen a community’s sidebar, since I use Lemmy on my phone like probably half of all users.
So do I? It’s very easy to view the sidebar of a community. It’s a good way to get to know them and understand what unique rules they might have.
I’m actually curious, do you use the browser version or a Lemmy app? I’m on Boost and I would have to click into the community if I wanted to see anything more than its name and instance.
Yay I love reddit like rules, were so back
Paint it however you want, you cannot change the landscape. If you can only win by imagining your opponent this way, you’ve already lost. Your presence is not enjoyable nor necessary.
Have to click the community, and know to check the sidebar, oh fuck are we back on reddit
literally requires zero work to honor.
No true at all. I must at minimum perform the work to stay attentive to the community and its unique rules.
Most community rules can be narrowed down to “don’t be a dick” while a women’s only community also requires one to not have a dick or have one but be transitioning away from having one.
The best part is that the second rule of !womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone is:
Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
And apparently they moved because I had blocked the one on lazy.social and haven’t come across the new one. So even blocking to avoid accidentally breaking rules doesn’t always work.
Guess what? If you accidentally break the rules, the mods will helpfully remove the comment and send you a polite reminder! You won’t even lose karma over it because there is no karma! At worst you’ll experience something women often do in real life: having your voice dismissed.
“Having your voice dismissed due to your gender is wrong.”
dismisses your voice due to your gender
I hope that’s not a reason they actually give, because it’s incredibly hypocritical.
I think it is hilarious that they have a don’t be a dick rule, it is completely on point. Thank you for the smug explanation about karma that has nothing to do with what we are talking about!
My lamentation for not having built in tools to allow them or myself to manage participation short of blocks and bans is about the lack of tools. There are settings to limit who can post, but as far as I know there aren’t tools to limit participation short of a ban or block. Heck, I would love the ability to set notes that display for me about communities or users as reminders because I would add notes about not commenting or not down voting for the communities that have that as a rule but also have content I want to see.
It requires a change to the whole flow of interaction actually. No other public community requires you to check the rules to see if you’re allowed to post at all.
The sidebar also says “this is an inclusive community” followed by a rule that excludes 50% of the planet.
Inclusive of what counts as “woman” and what’s a valid topic. Come on
And probably 80% of the userbase of the platform.
It’s not private. It’s just targeted to a demographic .
It’s not just targeted at that group, it’s supposedly meant only for that group to be able to participate, so it should be set to private in the community settings. Being set to public is for a community that everyone in the public can participate in, while being set to private is for a community that only some people can participate in.
I view plenty of communities I don’t post in because I have no relevant knowledge or experience. Even if I were outright excluded from posting I’d still find the discussions interesting. People don’t need to hear my opinion for me to get value out of something.
That’s your choice. It’s a completely different thing.
In fact, we generally consider toxic communities where there is a harsh form of gatekeeping (which in your example would be same result, but the result of the community’s choice, not yours).
Do we? And is that form of gatekeeping harsh, or do you think anything that excludes you is “toxic?”
I’d have a hard time thinking of any group I’m a part of that doesn’t have rules around who can participate. That’s a part of maintaining healthy, relevant discussion in a safe space for members, especially when it’s been well documented that this particular group has had their voices overpowered by the group they’re excluding.
We do, look at how many critique posts there are about toxic neckbeard groups, for example about hardcore technical topics where beginners are ridiculed and excluded (i.e., gatekeeping). Or about gym buff communities, where beginners are ignored or made fun of.
Wouldn’t you call those communities toxic?
any group I’m a part of that doesn’t have rules around who can participate.
Rules about who can participate are absolutely fine, necessary even. Generally those rules are based on what you do, not who you are, though.
well documented that this particular group has had their voices overpowered by the group they’re excluding.
I believe that forcing to identify yourself in some way and heavy moderation would be enough (moderation based on what you do) for an online community. But anyway, I don’t have a problem with those rules in general. However, in your original comment you compared a community keeping you out to your own restraint into participating in a community you feel you have nothing to contribute to. To go back to my example, there is a huge difference between not participating in a technical post that goes over your head and just reading other people’s opinion vs being banned for having demonstrated to be at a lower level of understanding (gatekeeping).
or do you think anything that excludes you is “toxic?”
To address this tiny veiled provocation, I don’t like to participate in communities that gatekeep people, whether I am in the ingroup or not. In fact, I heavily dislike purists in fields I deal with (e.g., selfhosting, tech in general), which is the most common form of gate keeping, and I definitely don’t participate in their communities.
How can the 50 percent of new users who should be women find a private-only forum? Feel free to block, no hard feelings.
Lots of ways. If they’re interested in women-only topics then all they have to do is goto the searchbar and type “women”. And the community mods can even set the community’s post visibility to public and set the allowed commenters to approved users only. And a bunch of other possible setups too. Basically the only bad way to do it is to set the forum to public, and then tell the entirety of the fediverse they have to treat it like it’s actually set to private
Jesus, guys, the rule is apparently just like the clitoris: FRONT AND CENTER BUT INVISIBLE!?!?
Why even bother commenting without reading other comments on the page? That has been asked and answered 50 times already. Also, don’t be an asshole. Most people here have been talking about the topic, not making snide remarks
That would be the case if it was private but it’s not. I assume the purpose is to allow for visibility on the conversations happening in women’s spaces. If you only care to listen to conversations you can be a part of, hide the community.
As i just wrote to another user, in terms of how forums work, it is saying it wants to be private but also public. There is no default setting for that, but there are ways to do it that achieve what you want without breaking the public/private system. For instance you can make the forum public, but set it to only allow comments from approved users.
Keeping it open means people can find it, and it only excludes men from participating. WomensStuff accepts NBs and transwomen and basically anyone who doesn’t identify as a man. Just because it’s not for men doesn’t mean it’s private.
In terms of how platforms work, a forum is either set to ‘public’ for everyone, or set to ‘private’ if you want to control who interacts with a forum
Lemmy has the ability to set who can create Posts within a community, and there are a lot that only allow the mods to create Posts.
Trying to do the same for comments would require a lot more complexity unless comments were tied to subscriptions. Even then it wouldn’t cover the situation of people wanting to subscribe without being eligible to comment.
To be clear, I do think WomensStuff women only rule is 100% perfectly fine for various reasons and the limitations of the software are the issue.
i agree with this, but would like to point out:
if the software can’t do what you want it to do…you need to use a different software.
from what i can tell about the community, they really want to be a discord server, but on lemmy…why not just use discord in the first place then?
faulting the general userbase for using the software exactly as intended and then getting mad about it seems…really toxic…and intentionally combative.
Setting it to private would limit its discoverability for people who are welcome to contribute, which as you say, is about half of all people. Some people like to lurk and read without posting which is perfectly fine and even welcomed. It’s not a private forum, it’s a forum that just asks men not to post.
In terms of how forums work, it is saying it wants to be private but also public. There is no default setting for that, but there are ways to do it that achieve what you want without breaking the public/private system. For instance you can make the forum public, but set it to only allow comments from approved users.
Not everything is about you, champ.
Hey “champ”, i never said it was. I said that the way forums work is that if you set your community to appear in All, then that community is supposed to be for all
Or you could just read and respect the community rules. '“I don’t like it…” and “supposed to be” are just a recipe for getting yourself annoyed over nothing. Let it go.
Or you could just read and respect the community rules.
Or that forum can just respect the guidelines of Lemmy private/public settings.
And I’m no more worked up about this than you are.
Or that forum can just respect the guidelines of Lemmy private/public settings.
You should send the mods an email.
And I’m no more worked up about this than you are.
{looks at rest of thread] Suuure.
Beacon has been calm and helpful and has suggested solutions to the problem (the only commenter I’ve seen do that consistently). You immediately jumped to making lazy snide remarks and dismissing people. I think I know who’s more worked up here.
This opinion is foolish. Just block it if you dont like it.
Why even comment if you didn’t read what you’re replying to?
so it doesn’t show up in everyone’s feed
Or don’t scroll the All feed and complain about / downvote random content you don’t like.
The fucking comments on here are insane. It’s not a private comm, and pretty much every comment that’s been deleted for being posted by a male user was because they explicitly stated they were male. As in started off a comment (usually on women’s issues) with “as a guy…”
Go on a linux forum and post “as a windows user…”
Go on PC gamers and post “as a console gamer…”
Would have a problem with being told “this is not for you” then? No, you wouldn’t. You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak. Get over it.
And to those who demand it be taken off all: fucking learn how to curate your own experience. Skip over or block it the same way you would other communities that have nothing for you
Go on a linux forum and post “as a windows user…”
Go on PC gamers and post “as a console gamer…”
Would have a problem with being told “this is not for you” then? No, you wouldn’t.
This is a terrible example, because yes absolutely I would indeed consider the mods to be militant over-the-top a-holes if they deleted and blocked all comments just because they were from Windows or console users.
Consider what the word “majority” means and how that impacts the balance of such discussions. Especially on a platform where people vote on each other’s comments.
In the Linux forum example, the occasional “as a Windows user…” comment isn’t a problem, but it does become one when it makes up 80-90% of comments / visitors. Try to understand how this shapes a community when the relatively few directly affected people (for whom the community was created in the first place) are annoyed by this and stop contributing.
This is why you need both kinds of spaces, and why it’s silly and short-sighted to get mad over this policy.
Facts right here. Learn how to let people have their own space. Sometimes a thing isn’t meant for you, and that’s okay.
Yeah, I concur. When I learned I wasn’t allowed to speak there, I simply blocked it and moved on. They can have whatever rules they want. No one is obligated to be there.
On the flip side, I can see it being irksome to click a post and have your comment be deleted because you didn’t notice that community it was or didn’t read every rule for every community.
I’ll wager the vast majority of users don’t read community rules until they run afoul of one. Personally, I just shrug it off and move on, it’s not like whining about it is going to make an entire community change it’s rules to accommodate you.
I feel based on the name of the community, some rules would be obvious. But a “absolutely nothing from you, male scum” isn’t obvious.
I posted one there yesterday or this morning, haven’t checked on it, but it’s probably deleted now. No harm no foul. It wasn’t meant to break a rule, and they can do what they want. But I would’ve never even known if not for this post.
But I will be blocking the sub now. Both because I’m apparently not welcome, and because I will probably accidentally do it again otherwise.
Edit: It wasn’t that sub after checking. Phew. One less toxic place to be.
“male scum” oof. Maybe cool it a little with the self-victimization, friend.
If you genuinely don’t understand why it’s helpful to have both kinds of spaces and not something to get mad about, I’m happy to explain. But some good-faith effort on your part is required.
“Women only…trans women are women, and gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (eg non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a woman’s community is a good fit for them”
Literally does not say “male scum”, that’s something you’ve invented entirely. Wonder why that’s your response.
I feel based on the name of the community, some rules would be obvious. But a “absolutely nothing from you, male scum” isn’t obvious.
Rules…
Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women’s community is a good fit for them.
I understand, you’re a man, you have an opinion, and being told ‘no’ just won’t cut it, will it?
Did you miss the first 9 words you quoted or something? Seems like you’re misrepresenting what was said in quite a profound way.
OP claims it’s not obvious from the title; you claim it’s obvious from the rules; Both of these statements can be true at the same time.
Also, now that they’re aware, they’ve blocked the community to prevent any engagement… Can you explain how that translates to them not accepting the situation?
Eh, irkers can sit down. It’s long been a thing about paying attention to community rules before posting, and if you don’t and violate them, you don’t get to whinge.
To be fair the vast, vast majority of the rules are simply common sense stuff. If you are not an asshole, you can avoid reading community rules and in 99% of case you won’t violate any.
BS, we had the same argument on Reddit
- TwoX was militant about no guys
- whatever men’s subreddit was welcoming to women’s reply but wanted them to be honest what gender they were
So as a guy on some men only subreddit, I also welcomed the opinion of women while expecting them to clarify.
As a nerd in many “year of Linux on the desktop” debates, I welcomed constructive opinions from the benighted fools
As a PC gamer I want to game with my buddies so yes I want the opinion of those on consoles
So as a guy on some men only subreddit, I also welcomed the opinion of women while expecting them to clarify.
So you’re ok with a community defining how it wants people outside its demographic to interact with it?
Also you literally do not have to interact with the community. No one is shoving it in your face or demanding you join and then going HAHAHHAHA PSYCH you can literally just scroll past it.
No other publically visible community has posts that I find interesting but am not allowed to interact with.
You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak. Get over it.
Isn’t the goal to move past this behavior when based on immutable qualities rather than merit? The ethical value of a reverse country club model is pretty controversial.
You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak.
I respect their rules on that community as browsing Everything (Sync) it shows up for me fairly regularly and I haven’t had any issues.
I reject the part I literally quoted.
I care about precision in communication and fighting against entropic decay in how we communicate so I feel compelled to respond to this quote.
I am a male and because of that I have no turn to speak there so you are flat out wrong. It will never be my turn. It is inaccurate what you are saying.
Please consider reframing what you said.
and using literally there makes your error much more egregious, literally
Mate, i’m ASD and saying dial it back.
I’m not ASD and saying nobody cares about your diagnosis.
This has always been one of the top tier funniest meme images to me.
Well, aren’t the majority of these replies depressing. Imagine looking at a minority group that tries to make a private corner for themselves and going “yeah but they haven’t heard my take yet!”
Looks at litterally half the population: “This is a minority”.
On Lemmy?? lmao
This discussion reminds me of a party/orgy/something I saw being promoted and in the description it says that it was female/trans oriented (female and male trans included), but that they weren’t going to police anyone’s gender, but asked cis males to respect and didn’t participate.
You see this more in online LGBTQ+ communities, they are all about inclusion, but when a hetero sis male wants to talk about the subject they aren’t the biggest fan of it. Even though we all got to live together? As long as they don’t discriminate, it’s fine, but still ironic.
Edit: changed my wording to be clearer about what I mean.
Might want to look into why that is…
Then tell me?
Do your own homework, you’re the one making claims
Sorry to rephrase my comments towards you, I have come across communities on Reddit, here and elsewhere online where there is a post about something LGBTQ+ related. I post a comment around the subject, either asking a question or supporting the general cause, but ofc I experience the entire situation differently than somebody who is completely part of it, so people always notice it.
But instead of explaining where I am wrong or forming a normal conversation, I get shit like you are doing. Which really alienates me from the online communities. I act the same way when I am in person talking to people from LGBTQ+ and they act completely different and some even share the same opinion.
I do live in NL where the situation surrounding LGBTQ+ is more open than in a lot of other countries, but still.
Where do you suggest I start doing “my homework”? or are you just gonna shut me down trying to learn more about the subject like most have done?
Because for a lot of people posting snark on the internet is more flattering to their ego than advancing the goals of movements they claim to support.
(Yes I amxaware of the irony within this post)
Well that doesn’t help no …
But the consequence of it, is that people like me experience the not being able to talk about certain aspects of humanity or of life, which is kinda understandable to be fair.
I heard great things about “The will to change” by Bell Hooks
Okey interesting, Ill keep it in mind. It might not work for this situation I have experiences about the LGBTQ+ communities online, but who knows. Thx!
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You are beeing very vague in what you describe so I wil be as well. If that means I’m talking about something else I’m sory. As a cis guy the way I understand it is, that some spaces meant for internal discussion about problems that are unique to LGBTQ+ people in order to share experience and advice where most people who are not part of the group can’t say anything since they aren’t affected. Since that is most people hetero peple are not welcome there in general for simplicity’s sake. Those spaces are not meant as an Information desk and they don’t have to be one since there are other spaces on the internet that can act as that. No one should have to be forced to be an information provider for something they are born with. The same as no blind person is obligated to answer your questions about their condition.
Well that’s fair, it has been a while since I ran into a LGBTQ+ community online, so it might have changed, but like I said I have heard it from others as well.
that some spaces meant for internal discussion about problems that are unique to LGBTQ+ people in order to share experience and advice where most people who are not part of the group can’t say anything since they aren’t affected. Since that is most people hetero peple are not welcome there in general for simplicity’s sake. Those spaces are not meant as an Information desk and they don’t have to be one since there are other spaces on the internet that can act as that.
You are right about that, but I wasn’t commenting on threads like that per say, because well I don’t have a clue about it.
But I have comment on a thread about say gender-neutral bathrooms, some people prefer them and some people don’t. I responded that the trans people I know preferred their current gendered bathroom because well they are that gender. People didn’t like that I said that, but maybe it is because like somebody else said, so many people lie on the internet and such.
It’s not ironic at all. I’m guessing you have never been in a setting that would have benefitted from such a policy.
I don’t find it too difficult to comprehend why it’s useful to have spaces where minority-focused topics are discussed by everyone, alongside other spaces where the same topics are discussed primarily by the minority in question. Not if you understand what the words “minority” and “majority” mean anyway.
I dislike the whole minority/majority thing, we are all human and we need to be threated like that.
Maybe you are right and I accidentally joined some LGBTQ+ threads ment more for minorities. That doesn’t explain why some of my gay friends never felt welcome in online communities for LGBTQ+
Often what just happens irl is that those people just meet each other somewhere without the rest or go somewhere slightly differently during work, a party or whatever and then talk about what they want. At least that’s when I was a minority back in the day when gaming was for nerds. And that’s what my LGBTQ+ friends do when they want to do that, but The Netherlands has always been pretty open to that. That same thing happens online that people don’t join discussions they don’t care about.
It’s not ironic at all. I’m guessing you have never been in a setting that would have benefitted from such a policy. The only times I have been in a setting like that was when getting bullied in school where they didn’t want to talk to me because I was the minority.
Just block the sub if it bothers you and wipe your mind free. That’s all there ever was to it.
Why are there so many dudes here that can’t handle the concept of not sharing their opinion on everything? I think it’s valuable to learn to just listen sometimes. A community for people commonly talked over, mansplained to, and not taken seriously should be seen as a good thing. As a cis man, I think there’s a lot of value in that for my demographic as well, because diversity is interesting.
Also I think a lot of people are willingly missing the point of this post! Nobody is going to crucify you for accidentally commenting, it’s up to you to realize your mistake. Honor system.
WomensStuff is trans affirming so the solution is obvious!
On the one hand, boobs, on the other, not being able to pee standing and less rights
i mean. technically everyone can pee standing (barring medical concerns). it just might be slipperier than intended.
Fluid dynamics.
As the urine travels down your urethra it is under almost equal pressure from all sides. As the liquid escapes it loses contact with the vessel.
Through a process called adhesion the water in your product will experience a drag effect as the contact with the waste channel is extinguished. This drag is greatest in areas that contain the most perturbation.
The shape of the orifice that produces the stream produces the vast majority of the perturbative influence.
In this case the opening is a slit which produces semi-toroidal flows in the medium at the polar vertices.
Combine these forces (The sudden loss of pressure, the semi-toroidal flows, and adhesion) and the net effect is a torsion force on the stream.
The torsion force impels the fluid to twist and cohesion (water molecules are kind of like tiny magnets and really want to stick together) keeps the stream together.
There you have it. Why your urine spirals instead of just flowing out like a garden hose.
The spongy urethra runs along the length of the penis on its ventral (underneath) surface… This produces a spiral stream of urine and has the effect of cleaning the external urethral meatus. The lack of an equivalent mechanism in the female urethra partly explains why urinary tract infections occur so much more frequently in females.
ohhh til. thanks. good bot.
Having a penis doesn’t cause dysphoria in all trans women. You can be a woman and still pee standing up! Unless you’re in a public bathroom in a red state.
You don’t have to get bottom surgery, unless you want to.
How about just a little HRT, as a treat?
:3
I automatically block communities that put requirements like that on participation. If they don’t want me interacting with it, I don’t want to even see it. I also don’t think it’s appropriate for a publicly open forum. Go make your own private thing somewhere if you want to immediately start off as an echo chamber.
I think you just described two things working almost exactly as designed.
You should use block liberally to curate your feed.
Similarly, communities should have whatever rules make sense for them. If that keeps the community small, that might be the desired outcome for them.
I think blocking was the right call here.
How are new women to find it if it never appears in All? Feel free to block/remove it, just as you would any niches that don’t interest you and clog up your feed. Or just scroll past, like I do for Linux and gaming and moe.
but linux doesnt tell you you cant comment here if you dont use linux
Imagine every public linux forum overrun by 90% Windows user,s and you might just begin to understand.
Agreed, it’s just a lot of paying attention to the instance names and scrolling past. Usually the post title is a clue as well, but occasionally something sounds like something else. I don’t want to block the whole term, because it might be a small part of some post I’d otherwise be interested in. In any case, I know better than to drop comments in a topic that’s outside my experience.
You invite them or advertise where they can sign up. The same as any other kind of private group.
I didn’t want to see your comment, but that won’t stop me from complaining about having to see your comment anyway.
I mean this very kindly but “i don’t think it’s appropriate” is never a good reason to dictate the actions of others.
Yeah, unfortunately I did the same after I got warned off for a perfectly fine interaction.
That’s okay. I mean, if you want to open it up again and read it to get a perspective on how women speak when they’re in their own space, nobody minds. But if you don’t want it cropping up in your feed, that’s cool. Obviously the reason it shows up in All is so new women can find it. Being reminded not to comment is just that, a reminder of the rules, and not necessarily a criticism of the content. If women didn’t face so much denial of their voices it wouldn’t be necessary.
Often find yourself inside many stores you find irrelevant when strolling around town? All those unlocked doors must be such temptation.
I too have made this mistake 😔
I think I blocked it so I wouldn’t do that again
Reading over these comments brings me back to why I came out as non-binary, and the gender euphoric boost is quite nice.
It comes with a euphoria boost!?
Oh yeah, whenever I see men whining and complaining about something to do with women, I feel this sense of euphoric calm; this feeling of ‘I remember this. I’m not part of that group anymore. They don’t speak for me.’
It has a tinge of melancholy afterwards, because I still have to deal with men, yet I feel less embarrassed for myself.
Gender nonconforming gang rise up
That tells a lot about you that you ever grouped yourself with those people in the first place.
It’s true, I should spend less time here on Lemmy.
EDIT: If you think I haven’t heard/experienced those things on Lemmy, oh boy do I have bad news for you. I’ve had to make multiple accounts for every time a bunch of MGTOW guys decide to spam my account with messages/downvotes, so I’m used to it. Downvote away :)
Do you/did you feel that random members of a demographic “speak for you”? Why would that be the case for people you have nothing in common with except some amount of genetic material?
I didn’t even get a chance. Post came up, I didn’t check the sub, posted a comment, Admin told me politely to get fucked and banned me.
Based admin helping you out so you dont have to check the sub everytime you want to comment
