• LovableSidekick@lemmy.worldEnglish
    63·
    6 days ago

    Making “smart” devices that can’t do routine mundane things without an active internet connection is completely fucking stupid.

  • contrapunctus@lemmy.cafeEnglish
    521·
    6 days ago

    The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

    Douglas Adams

  • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
    62·
    6 days ago

    My sister’s new apartment’s front door has a “smart lock”, hooked up to Ring, naturally. No keyhole, you open it with your phone. It also runs on batteries.

    Do I really need to say any more? We were baffled.

    EDIT: Correction - there IS a keyhole but the actual tenants don’t have access to it. Only the property management. Creepy. :|

    • sowitzer@lemm.eeEnglish
      91·
      7 days ago

      I got a Proteus IV system. Now I’m dead and my wife is knocked up.

    • dragonlobster@programming.dev
      8·
      7 days ago

      I have one too but it has an emergency physical “master key”. Also there’s a port to provide power to it through a battery bank, in case you really run out of juice though it’s potentially another point of failure. No internet connection

      • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
        6·
        6 days ago

        I have a Nuki this one still works with a normal key, since you install it on top of your existing double cylinder (you should only install it on one that can have two keys inserted at the same time or with a turn knob on one side). The Nuki just turns the key or thumb turn of the cylinder. Also means you can’t see that a smart lock is installed from the outside. Battery is not a problem since they last for about 5 months. And you get a warning when it reaches 20%.

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      6·
      6 days ago

      “Hello amazon I’m a police, I need you to unlock this door at 123 Rainy St, Arlen TX 76043”

      “Ok Mr. Police right away!”

      Sounds great!

      • swelter_spark@reddthat.comEnglish
        4·
        6 days ago

        I’ve seen landlords put these things on doors, too, and use them to allow entrance to anyone they think has a reason to be inside, whether the resident knows and consents or not.

        • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
          1·
          6 days ago

          Actually, yeah, I edited above but it did have a little keyhole: Except the management office said it was for themselves alone.

          That’s just…eegh…

        • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          1·
          6 days ago

          Yeah fuck that.

          Actually that is illegal (at least in my area), they’re required to give at least 24hr notice for maintenance or the landlord themselves coming by, etc. Exception is cops, they can always let in cops (and EMS and Fire I think).

      • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
        3·
        6 days ago

        LOL relevant meme attached:

        Arlen TX

        Weird coincidence seeing this right after finishing an episode of King of the Hill. LOL

        “Yo man dang’ol smartlock open up man left my daggum phone in there tell ya what.”

        “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

        • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          3·
          6 days ago

          Oh my god that’s hilarious, I hope that really worked!

          As to KOTH:

          “Unlock my door or I’ll kick your digital ass!”

          *crying* “My door won’t let me in, Hank! Everyone leaves me, Lenoire left and now even my house left me!”

          Dale however never got one, his house is still secured by Daletech. Shishishaaaaa!

    • derfunkatron@lemmy.worldEnglish
      6·
      6 days ago

      I have a smart deadbolt that is keypad operated. It’s awful.

      Never used the smart features, and there isn’t a bypass to unlock the door when the batteries die — which happens a lot, especially in the winter. I tried using rechargeable batteries in it, but they last less than half the time of normal batteries.

      There is nothing more frustrating than punching in the key code and hearing the death of HAL9000 voice before the deadbolt fully unlocks. Luckily I have a back door that isn’t smart.

      I’m replacing the lockset soon and this won’t be a problem anymore, but holy shit is it frustrating and wasteful.

      • LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyzEnglish
        51·
        6 days ago

        Kwikset keypad works great for me. There’s a keyhole, a real button keypad, and the batteries last a while with quite a bit of warning before they’re actually dead.

    • swelter_spark@reddthat.comEnglish
      4·
      6 days ago

      I was watching a friend’s dogs while she was on vacation when the batteries in her door lock died. I had to climb in a back window to get inside and feed them. Luckily, there was a back door with a dumb lock, but I had to get inside first and borrow her keys for that to help.

      • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
        9·
        7 days ago

        Honestly I’m not sure, I only got a look at it when I was helping her move.

        It’s tied to a wall panel on the other side that controls the whole unit’s lighting and thermostat and such though, and shows a doorbell cam.

        Educated guess that it’s all tied to Amazon. Blegh.

        Allegedly they’re just supposed to rely on maintenance to change the batteries so they’re not locked out of their home. Crazy.

        • bane_killgrind@slrpnk.netEnglish
          5·
          7 days ago

          SmartOne uses Schlage locks with some ecobee thermostats and sometimes a doorbell cam. Latch locks suck and I don’t know what panel is used there.

          I’m in Toronto, I do high-rise construction. Post a picture I’ll tell you what it is.

  • SGG@lemmy.worldEnglish
    48·
    7 days ago

    I’ve put a few smart lights/switches/sensors/power points in at home. Definitely helps mum as we can have wireless switches for the lights, and motion sensors to turn the hallway lights on automatically as well.

    For ALL of them, I make sure there is a manual control that will work as a backup regardless. Even if a smart light is “off” due to the motion sensor not detecting movement, all you need to do is turn the old regular light switch off then back on and the light will default to being back on.

    • Cocopanda@futurology.todayEnglish
      6·
      7 days ago

      Same. I have TOPGREENER power monitors on all my major applications. Tracking kWh usage. Smart bulbs all through out the house and smart speakers located within speaking distance. Plus a hodge podge of cameras doing 24/7 monitoring.

    • JohnEdwa@sopuli.xyz
      5·
      6 days ago

      Ye. I have all Ikea smart stuff, by default everything is running a local mesh network with physical remotes and that light switch backup.

      You don’t even need to connect any of it to the net, buying a hub to get app & google home/alexa/etc control is entirely optional with the exception of a few sensors, like the moisture/water leak one. And even then, the app & hub work on local wifi with no internet anyway.

    • LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyzEnglish
      11·
      6 days ago

      I mean… Electronics and the Internet are also following the laws of physics. But I get what you mean, levers should be the only activation, and gravity should be the only requirement.

      That being said, electronics in our devices do tend to reduce the amount of water and power that appliances use. Dumb devices are extremely inefficient, even though there are fewer points of failure.

      It sucks that a 1950’s fridge can still function just fine today, but it also is a bigger strain on the power grid, and a leak in the refrigerant would destroy the ozone.

      • sugarfoot00@lemmy.caEnglish
        4·
        6 days ago

        > That being said, electronics in our devices do tend to reduce the amount of water and power that appliances use. Dumb devices are extremely inefficient, even though there are fewer points of failure.

        I fail to see how electronics in these (unpowered) devices in any way reduce the amount of power that they use.

      • Lexi Sneptaur@pawb.socialEnglish
        1·
        6 days ago

        Yeah I think the meaning of the above comment boils down to “If it doesn’t have a simple fallback, it can’t be trusted”.

    • ace_of_based@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      5·
      6 days ago

      You’re already @ the mf toilet too, or the sink. what is even the purported purpose of remotely activating something you have to stand there to use?

    • Phoenicianpirate@lemm.eeEnglish
      3·
      6 days ago

      I can see some purpose in having a ‘smart’ toilet for monitoring health. Your pee and poo can have some value in seeing if there anything that needs to be dealt with medically. But even that is difficult to do. For one thing, it must still function ad a toilet first before anything. Meaning it uses the simple mechanical flushing and refilling and stopping when it is sufficiently full.

      However for this the analysis and storage of data must be 100% at the user’s control. If they want it gone. It is gone. Irrecoverable. Any update must be done via USB or other connection. No wifi or internet.

      And even then the analysis can be off for obvious reasons. People need to scrub their toilets and some keep it clean by having one of those pucks in the tank that sanitize the water. All of these can interfere with any results out of a medical setting.

      • Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world
        2·
        6 days ago

        Yeah but if they let users control the data then how are they supposed to sell it to insurance companies to boost their value to VCs???

  • kamen@lemmy.worldEnglish
    25·
    6 days ago

    Okay, I get the idea of smart AC for example - be elsewhere, turn it on remotely so that it’s comfortable when you get home. Fine. But a toilet? You are physically present there, you can push a button to flush. Or are you telling me that you’re shitting remotely now too?

    • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
      6·
      6 days ago

      Wait, so you’re not subscribed to shitme™? For a low monthly subscription they send you a sealed, self-addressed and postage-paid container to deposit your feces in, it gets sent to a sorting facility and distributed via drones or delivery drivers directly to your home toilet, where the feces are flushed in the privacy and safety of your own home! The peace-of-mind alone is worth the $39.98 a month. Up until now, the only challenge has been flushing the toilet while you’re still at the office, this way you NEVER have to go home!

    • DerArzt@lemmy.world
      6·
      6 days ago

      you’re shitting remotely now too?

      Do we tell them about the remote shit technology that just landed from Uranus?

      • TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub
        2·
        6 days ago

        It’s not that great anyway. Your local toilet will surreptitiously grab and analyze your poop, dispose of it so you don’t need to flush, and have the remote toilet extrude an identical copy someone else has to flush.

    • TheHotze@lemmy.world
      2·
      6 days ago

      Hands free means you don’t have to touch the handle with dirty hands, but you can do that with a motion sensor too.

  • pyre@lemmy.world
    41·
    7 days ago

    I don’t think any of these people know what “smart” is supposed to mean cause these must be the dumbest ideas for any product I’ve heard so far.

    • milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee
      46·
      7 days ago

      ‘Smart’ means it can send your lifestyle data to the company, and make you dependent on their services.

      You want to change your toilet provider? Best of luck holding your poo in for three days while the transfer is processed.

    • Lexi Sneptaur@pawb.socialEnglish
      2·
      6 days ago

      Mostly to be more efficient and save water, though I couldn’t fathom how that would work with a toilet. Perhaps it’s part of a system to monitor your water usage to help you reduce your use? Maybe the app suggests to let it mellow when it’s yellow?

  • PieMePlenty@lemmy.world
    13·
    6 days ago

    Maybe it needs a connection cause it takes a picture of your feces and sends it to an AI analysis service. If anomalies are detected, it tells you that you should take the stool sample to a laboratory for further study, then lets you flush. Poof, smart toilet. I could see people with too much money buying this.

    Edit: Thought about it some more… why stop at feces images? Why not also have a high resolution camera pointed at your anus taking crowning shots and analyzing those. Tell users if anythings wrong. The future is bright brown boys. The future is brown.

    Edit2: You could even have motion based security… alert if anyone broke in through your bathroom. Cameras in toilets people! What could go wrong?

    Edit3: Hear me out. User controlled bidet mode + anus camera. Take out your phone and clean your ass in first person. Score points if you clean your whole ass and compete on an online scoreboard. Tech sure is amazing.

  • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
    172·
    6 days ago

    Day 3,801 of thanking God I was born a Luddite

    Anyone who thought their toilet would be improved by having an internet connection deserves this

  • the_riviera_kid@lemmy.worldEnglish
    10·
    6 days ago

    And yet I hear dumbshits bragging all time about how alexa controls my (insert thing that definitely does not need automation here).

    These sort of people never think beyond tomorrow and it shows.